Sour Grapes

I love grapes.. all colours, green, red & black. But they have got to be seedless and needless to say, sweet. I hate sour grapes, yes, pun intended. Recently some people have gotten on my nerves. People who are sore about my baby. These recent brushes are so deja vu. It was similar to what had happened when I first announced I was going to get married.

When I told the world that I was getting married, I had mixed reactions. Some were happy and excited, some were skeptical and some others, obviously sour. There weren't many in the third group, probably a handful, but at times like these, even 1 would have had an impact. A marriage is a happy occasion. Yes, i thank those who tried to pre-empt me to the ups & downs of a marriage. But I despise those who told me that it was a grave mistake, that I was on the route to disaster. Some even went to the extent of asking me to talk to a priest about my decision which to them, is a blatantly wrong one. I wonder, talk to a priest for *^@#! Is a priest even married? Does a priest know what I want? Is the priest a soothsayer? None of the above. Eventually I deduced that it was out of sheer envy & jealousy. Not surprisingly, the people belonging to the 3rd group were without partners, some hitting their 3rd decade, some just crossed over their 4th decade.

Well, it is this same group of people who are now pouring cold water on my pregnancy. They are telling me that getting pregnant is simply a waste of time, a waste of money and which will result in a complete loss of freedom. Whilst it is sad that these people cannot share my joy, it is even more disappointing that these are the people whom I thought were one of the closest to me.

To share my opinion, since 5 August 2005, the day I booked my wedding banquet till today, I have not looked back. Marriage has made me happier and more positive. I have learnt about sacrifice and tolerance and I am grateful for the presence of my life time companion. I do not lament about the loss of freedom nor the absence of the late nights partying which I used to enjoy. In fact, I treasure life even more, knowing that I am a big part of another person's life.

Pregnancy has brought even a deeper meaning and different perspective to my life. I'm not afraid of the hassle of a wailing kid in tow, much less of the coming sleepless nights which I have to endure. No doubt, these may not exactly be the most wonderful of things but I know for sure that the joy of having a child will make me a stronger person. I beam at mothers who share with me stories of how their children brighten up their lives, albeit the silly & annoying habits which they have to put up with. I cannot say now for certain, how I will be when I finally get out of my mother-to-be status and become a full fledged mom, but I definitely look forward to every gynae visit because I can see JD and each time I feel JD's kick and see my tummy nudge, I get overwhelmed by emotions. Like what Lenggu sms-ed me on Mother's Day which just passed, "this is a miracle.." For the record, she's due around the same time as me!

I do not expect everyone to be as elated as me or dw or my parents about the good things that happen in my life. Afterall it is my life. But the negative and disparaging comments that are put to my ears are rather much uncalled for and I totally condemn them. I have 2 choices now, to either write them off my life completely or to put on a pretentious front and allow them to continuously jar my ears or even my eyes with their presence. For now, I just hope that they will be able to realise that happiness can possibly happen to them only if they are happy for others. To me, it's a cycle. If you continue to be sore that happy things do not happen you and think you can blame others for your sad life and put them down just to make yourself feel better, you will never open up the door to the wonderful opportunities lying right smack in front of your face. You are wasting your time wallowing in self pity, and sad to say I do not sympathise with you.

Having said all these, I do appreciate my friends out there, who are either not attached yet, not married yet, or not close to starting a family, whether by choice or not, who have been supportive of all my actions. Friends like Fong, Dy, Mo etc who have helped me to keep my sanity amongst the rest of the unwarranted "attention".