I never expected that I would be hit by these. I've always thought myself to be a happy go lucky, independent, strong woman. But I guess the toll of motherhood just got the better of me & I just had to let myself go, let myself holler the house down & behave exactly like my little baby.
Dw was aghast at what he witnessed. He's been informed of the possibility of depression of women after delivery but I suppose he himself was not prepared of the senseless & incomprehensible behavior of his wife. At one point, out of desperation, he screamed, how was he to handle a bawling baby & a bawling wife at the same time! Now that I think back, it was funny & I felt sorry for him at that point. Husbands certainly do not have it easy now too, compared to our fathers' generations where they were mostly not required to participate in the caring of their children.
One thing I've learnt from these episodes was that it helps to just cry it ALL out. There's really no point in trying to suppress your emotions. Hormones are uncontrollable. After my last cry about a week back, which undoubtedly was the best one I had, I actually felt much more recharged and bounced back to looking after Jilliane with a surge of renewed energy.
And yes, I believe I'm still that independent woman as when I cried, I demanded to be alone. I didn't need wishy washy, feel good words fr Dw or anyone else.
