My favourite songs for 2009

On the last day of 2009, I wish all of you all the best for the New Year and let's all look forward to being a year older and a year wiser.

That sounds quite sad so to make myself feel young at heart, I've gotten myself into a warp world with these 2 songs which always make me wanna sing along & dance too. One for the very young, and one for the very ah lian. 2 phrases which I've gone through and reminisce.

Why are kids now so violent?

Cos they've been exposed to weapons even before they are out of their diapers.


My deal with Dw was that I agree to buy him Cabela's Big Game Hunter from the States as an advance X'mas gift on condition that he plays it only after JD sleeps.

I should have known better.... BLeAH!

Who's who

Why do people always comment that JD looks like her daddy.. hmmph! She looks like her mommy too! :)

Hi 5

Last Thursday evening. I felt like a teenager all over again, getting so excited about chasing Hi 5, only this time round it's for my baby. And once again, Ah Ma is involved. I think my mom is destined to be chasing "stars" all her life. When I was a kid, she was helping me chase Li Nanxing, Chen Xiuhuan etc so I could take photos with them and get their autographs. Now she's at it for her granddaughter. All thanks to Ah-Ma, we managed to get a photo taken with Hi 5 though JD was not amongst the 1st 70 kids. JD recognised them the moment I brought her near the stage and started her pointing & screaming sessions. And though personally I was thought Lauren Brant was the prettiest, it was Casey Burgess who took most to Jilliane. She played with her and even asked Jilliane for a kiss which she obliged. And yes, those glasses on her are mine.

X'mas in jest

No. 2 or not?

People have been asking, so when's no. 2? About half a year back, I was going no way, never.. it's bad enough with a Sleepless with JD situation.. when JD started to sleep through the night a couple of months back, I was like, erm.. Ok, no. 2 ar.. can consider ba. Now..... oh no, I don't think I want no. 2, not with this 15 month monster who screams so much and sleeps so little!

Seriously.. I don't know. I do miss the days when I feel kickings in my tummy, the anticipation at each gynae visit when I can see the foetus and hear heartbeats. I miss cuddling a newborn in my arms (on this, I gotta stress that this is only if it's MY newborn, as Dw always says, u can't afford to break someone else's baby). To think back, it seemed so long ago when I was struggling to wake up in the middle of the night trying to get my bawling baby to latch on. And now, I'm just don't feel too contented to just smile and recall the lovely moments. (not so lovely then) I want it to be re-enacted again.

But of course, these simply cannot justify me having no.2. There will be the loss of freedom.. it was not easy finally being able to travel again. There will be the hassle of fixing up sore nipples and quality of life will definitely be affected. Attention for JD will be split, spending on frivolous items like pretty frocks etc will need to be curbed.

I dunno.. maybe Dw could consider moonlighting as a tour guide on weekends? Maybe?

A not so good time

I've been feeling very lethargic since I came back from the States. I would probably attribute it to jet lag. It took me a week to accustom myself from Singapore time to US time but by then, it was time to come home and it took me another week to adjust from US time back to Singapore time. It sure didn't help that I was on another flight 4 days later. This time with an airline that didn't seem to have paid their fuel bills. It was stuffy and it sure wasn't surprising that Dw fell ill after our weekend getaway to Kuala Lumpur.

Mom was also ill just before we left for Kuala Lumpur. I guess looking after a baby full time is slowly taking its toll on her. JD's not an easy one to care for. She demands lots of attention and my mom's heart is too soft to let her cry continuously. (funny how she' so hard on her daughter but dotes so much on her granddaughter :P) JD now not only cries, she screams. It doesn't help that her hourly night wakings have returned. A week I'm away and everything's haywire. A terror is forming and I'm drained.

We're all burnt out and I feel that there is a negative aura going around. Whilst I'm thinking of ideas on how to change this positively, I'm also toying with the idea of either getting a helper in or putting JD in childcare.

I still do not know what is the right choice. It was by chance that whilst trying to google for good childcare options I came across this book by Steve Biddulph - Raising Babies - Should under 3s go to nursery. I'm only a quarter through and I'm kinda convinced that childcare is just not the way to go. In its extremity, this book recommends that I should not put materialism before my child and that I should quit my job and look after her full time. I don't think I can do that but once I've finished reading, I will re-evaluate my options and pray that God will once again guide me with the wisdom to make a decision best for JD & for ourselves.