A helper finally...

After 2 years of battling with my conscience and my happiness, I've finally decided that I'm going to get a helper.

Yesterday was commendable as I finally went to an agency, shortlisted a couple and actually paid the deposit. Yes, I put some money down and that would probably indicate how serious I am this time round.

Previously I merely called around a few agencies, trying my luck that I will be able to chance upon the "perfect" helper, knowing jolly well that that will never happen. Somehow I couldn't muster enough courage to really convince myself to invite a stranger into my house.

I don't know what spurred me on yesterday. Maybe it's the accumulating tension at home, maybe it's the beast in me screaming for freedom, maybe I'm just not fit to be a mom.

But whatever it is, I'm just glad that help's on the way...