My Ra-Ra World

Jilliane vs Jenson

2012-02-07T15:54:00.003+08:00

My 2 kids at 4 months during tummy time... Do they look alike??

Jilliane

Jenson

Dinosaur stomps!

2012-02-02T11:52:00.000+08:00

Jilliane is going to be 4 this year and it's certainly time to get her more interested in reading. I'm glad that my little girl enjoys being read to, but I know it's now time to introduce her to r-e-a-d-i-n-g, to expose her to phonics.

I've been deliberating if I should send her to phonics classes. I've heard from friends that in this time, it's vital for kids to have a firm grasp of phonics as without it, they will do badly in Primary school, especially for Maths. It has been months and I'm still thinking. At this point, I'm really glad that Julia Gabriel has written a book, specifically on linking 2 alphabets, to teach kids the sounds and to entice their interest in reading!

Rainbow Bear's Dinosaur Discovery Book - wow! This is just in time as Jilliane has mastered single alphabet sounds in school and part of the syllabus this year will be sounds like "ch", "th", "sh" etc. And what makes it even more exciting for children is that this set comes with a story telling cd! So Jilliane need no longer listen to only my voice, which may come across as monotonous after a while. Moreover this book has many tongue twisters, so I'm actually grateful for the cd :)

So off we went "sh sh Shamini Shunosaurus. Shamini Shunosaurus shows shiny sea shells" & "th th Thecocoelurus throws three thick thistles". It was alot of fun as we giggled through all the sounds, rhymes & twisting fun.

I've in fact, even starting reading this to Jenson, indirectly. I'll place him on the bed beside Jilliane and me, hoping he will catch a phase or 2. I'm sure this will be one of those timeless classics, where he will still enjoy it 3 years later. Given that this theme is on dinosaurs, he, being a boy, should be even more excited about the book!

If you happen to read this post in time & are looking for something to do as a family this Saturday, head on down to The Dinosaur Stomp, from 10am to 5pm at Forum The Shopping Mall. There will be a special book signing sessions with Julia Gabriel, lively performances by Rainbow Bear and friends, and a Dinosaur Stomp. In addition, there are going to be art and craft activities, face painting, great goodie bags and prizes to be won from the Dinosaur Egg Treasure Hunt and Lucky Draws. To top it off, this book package will be sold at a 15% discount! Thumbs up! :)

How much they have grown!

2012-02-01T17:13:00.003+08:00

Hanny and her family came by my place for CNY last Sunday and we took a photo of the kids... This year, Trisha will be 7, Tristan will be 5 and Jilliane will be 4.

Compare this to a photo of the 3 of them taken in August 2010 and gosh, how much they have grown! I feel so old!

Being Beachy

2012-01-06T13:35:00.005+08:00

The gloomy, wet weather has finally come to an end. November to December last year was no fun. We were literally stuck at home. We didn't dare to venture to places that didn't have a sheltered carpark lest the 2 kids got drenched which will then lead to fever & what else not. As such apart from shopping centres, there was hardly anywhere to go. It was always Parkway, Parkway & more Parkway. (note: I12 was not fully opened yet at that time).

New Year was a long sunny weekend and we finally got the chance to head to the beach! It has been a long long time since we went there, given Jilliane's month long illness. It was our 1st outing to the beach as a family, 4 of us. And we're glad Jenson didn't fuss much and we did have a great time, playing, strolling & feasting at the East Coast Hawker Centre.

Getting our hats ready to shield us from the hot sun!

At the beach

Best wishes for 2012

2011-12-30T10:05:00.002+08:00

It's the 2nd last day of 2011. And I'm now a mother of 2. Yikes! Scary!

But I look forward to 2012 with a myriad of reasons:

1) Jenson will turn 1. Can't wait for him to be older. I'm not good with babies. I prefer to be able to have a comprehensible conversation with my kids. Jilliane at age 3 is a non stop talking machine, but at least she makes sensible talk. It's a joy to be able to call home during lunch & have a decent conversation with her. And of course when Jenson turns 1, there's going to be a party! He didn't have a man yue celebration so he's definitely going to have a one year old party. Mommy's worked up about it, as she hasn't had a fun party for eons! In fact, I've already started sourcing around for a venue..

2) A new helper. Yes the previous one did a nasty turn around on me. Packed her up & sent her home immediately. I hope my new helper will not do something stupid and break my trust. So far she's been good. Not a fast learner as my previous one but then again, the clever one turned out too clever for her own good, so maybe a not too clever one may be better. Well, but as people say, the horns come out after a year. Gotta X fingers on this one & hope for a better helper for 2012.

3) New job responsibilities. I now have marketing under my wing as well. Am excited about this but frankly speaking, the only marketing experience I have are those credit card ones which empty my wallet every festive season. But hey, they gotta be good since they have that effect on me right? So I guess I'm on the right track.

4) Trips!! I haven't had a decent trip since my cruise in May. I'm heading to BKK in June. But before that I hope to bring Jilliane to HK Disney and make another trip at the end of year with the 2 kids!

5) I12! Finally there's a cinema at my doorstep! I hope to be able to catch a midnight show with Dw soon, when the kids are asleep :)

All the best for 2012 folks! May the New Year bring us abundant luck, wealth & great health!

Learning Mandarin

2011-11-24T13:53:00.003+08:00

How can I encourage Jilliane to be excited about Mandarin!

I speak to her in Mandarin & she blatantly ignores me. Exasperated, I sought help from Huang Ying, Head of Mandarin at Julia Gabriel. She encouraged me to read to Jillliane & use television as an aid. Yes! Tv! I like that idea :) It is assuring to know that tv when used sensibly, can be a powerful learning tool.

Out I went & bought my 1st ever Chinese songs DVD for jilliane. She wasn't too keen at the start, jumping around & couldn't spend more than 2 minutes watching it. But somehow a few days later she started to show more interest & soon she began to have her most favorite, 2nd most favourite & even 3rd most favourite song! She can sing 小星星 & 三轮车 on her own now! I'm sure many kids at her age can do alot more but for me, I'm just glad she has shown great initial progress. I've also bought a couple of Chinese books for her which she will bring to me on her own accord for me to read to her. This, to me, is good enough, at this point. I'm happy she now displays interest in this language.

Other ways that Ms Huang Ying shared with me were to label items in the house in Mandarin & to play games with jilliane in Mandarin. I've yet to do these as these would take alot more effort for Dw & myself to consciously & constantly speak the language. Nonetheless these are fab ideas which I will want to implement soon, when I've settled baby Jenson in his routine :)

Coping with 2 kids

2011-11-24T13:23:00.005+08:00

It has been a tiring 2 months.. Somehow when 1 thing goes wrong, other stuff just collapse all at the same time!

Firstly Jill has been having on off fever a couple of days after jenson came home & this fever lasted for more than a month ( only after a recent chest X-ray & blood test then we discovered it was due to bronchitis). On top of that she has ear infection & her visits to the ENT have cost me a bomb! Next our helper did something very wrong & we sent her back immediately. Needless to say, Jill has been very clingy & whiny which I don't blame her since she's sick & had to vie for my attention at the same time. But somehow i felt so guilty about not giving her my 100% attention that i finally broke down 1 night. Both Derwin & I were totally exhausted & really wanted to throw in the towel!

I prayed hard for God's protection & guidance. Through my prayers I was lucky to have received excellent tips from Ms Fiona Walker, Principal Director of Julia Gabriel, on how to shower my attention on both Jill & Jen.. Her idea on getting someone else to concentrate on my newborn was definitely very apt. Through God's will, I am thankful to have gotten a great stay in nanny to help us care for Jenson. Now I am able to shower more love & care on Jilliane & she's recovering well. Ms Walker also reminded me that it is vital to be understanding & give Jill a sense of security. With this in mind, I will always reassure her that mommy loves her and she is very important to me. I shower her with lotsa hugs & kisses. She's also a much happier child evidently as now she even tells me she misses her baby brother & will find every opportunity she can to kiss & "sayang" him. This is so different from the initial stages when she would cry whenever she sees me carrying didi.

It's time for Thanksgiving & I'm thankful for the wonderful support that I've gotten from those around me & I continue to pray for strength to be a good mum to 2 children & for my new helper to come in soon. And of course a good one too.

Arrival of Jenson Dylan Wu

2011-10-10T08:40:00.004+08:00

Never in my life have I ever dreamt that I will go through actual labour without any pain relief. But with my son, I did just that. The whole experience was different from Jilliane's birth and now I finally can get tell people, what labour actually feels like, being totally conscious of the pain & noise around me.

After Cheng's wedding on 24th Sept, Dw & me sent Jilliane home, washed her up & prepared her for bed. We left the house close to midnight and headed to Mt Alv. We checked in abt 12.30am and we ended up in the same delivery suite as I did for Jilliane. Best part was, both occasions were on Sundays.

Midwife checked my cervix, not dilated so proceeded to insert the induction pill. If there's any advice that I can give to potential mums, I'll say, NEVER opt for this route. It's disatrous! Once the pill took effect, the contractions came, at intervals closer & closer. Unfortunately, these contractions do not cause the cervix to dilate so at 3am, whilst I was in terrible pain, I could not opt for epidural as I was not dilated. The pain was unbearable, I was biting myself, pulling my hair, basically inflicting more pain on myself in the hope that it will distract me from my painful contractions!

3.30am - nurse suggested giving me a pain relief jab on my thigh - pethidine. Ok, whatever that works, just bring it on! Sadly, it NEVER relieved me of any pain, but I did keep wanting to drift off to sleep. This drug is scary, I can't even control my eyelids. One moment I was awake, the next I was knocked out. Then the pain kicks in & I'm awake again.. & yes, NEVER eat or drink anything once you are jabbed. I puked like mad just after a sip of water.

5am - Pain just kept on increasing. Nurse suggested to check cervix again to see if epidural could be administered. But I refused as midwives checking cervix is 100x more painful than my lovely, gentle gynae. Afterall Dr Fong was coming abt 7am, if i weren't dilated at 3am, how much difference would it be at 5am right?! Wrong!

6.45am - Urge to push, told DW & the nurses. Had to check cervix and I was 10cm dilated!! Piangz! My heart sank, I knew this means no more epidural was allowed. Goodness gracious me. But a very nice Indian midwife very patiently taught me to use the gas at the right timings and God was definitely there with me, as the gas made me so high that the pain was alleviated and I started hallucinating about Bach & music scores. This beats alcohol anytime!

7.30am - Pushed as hard as I could, baby just refused to come out until Dr Fong threatened that he was going to send me for emergency C-sect.. oops, I panicked, that would bring my bill up to more than $10k!! no way! I pushed damn hard, and finally Baby Jenson was born.

True labour indeed... how did those folks in my grandma's generation manage to go through this 10x?!! I'm done with 2 kids!

From now till Sunday

2011-09-23T09:47:00.002+08:00

Baby no 2's reserves are getting low and Dr Fong highly recommends to induce. I'm quite disappointed as I really wanted baby to choose his own birth date. Nevertheless, there's still a couple of days till Sunday midnight for things to occur naturally and I'm still keeping my fingers crossed and praying hard for a miracle.

Jenson (pronounced as yen-sen) Dylan Wu, we're looking forward to your arrival! Esp your jie jie who kisses you through mummy's tummy every night & is all excited to bathe you, clean your poop, teach you to walk etc. Let's just hope her enthusiasm doesn't wane!

What changes when you have a baby?

2011-09-16T08:42:00.003+08:00

Came across these points in an article on Babycentre's website...

1. You finally stop to smell the roses, because your baby is in your arms.
W: Er, not exactly smell. I'm still not a fan of flowers but yeah, I do stop when I see flowers, but mainly is to educate Jilliane on flower types & colours.

2. Where you once believed you were fearless, you now find yourself afraid.
W: Oh yes!! Before, I would have ridden Gladiator without thinking twice. Now, I won't even ride it even if you paid me a 1000 bucks. What if it collapsed & I died & my kid won't have a mom to take care of them!!!

3. The sacrifices you thought you made to have a child no longer seem like sacrifices.
W: Hmm... nah, I still regard my lack of zzz & lack of me time as sacrifices.

4. You respect your body ... finally.
W: HUH??

5. You respect your parents and love them in a new way.
W: Oh yes, it's tough being a parent. Can just imagine all my shit mine had to put up with. But then again, it's a mutual thing..

6. You find that your baby's pain feels much worse than your own.
W: I definitely can vouch for this. I will never forget the day that Jilliane was hospitalised at 2 months for viral meningitis and she had to have a lumbar puncture as well as the antibiotic drip inserted via her foot. Man, I was in pain too. My heart broke.

7. You believe once again in the things you believed in as a child.
W: Haha, suddenly I'm once again excited by the appearance of Strawberry Shortcake & Noddy!

8. You lose touch with the people in your life whom you should have banished years ago.
W: Yes, but I shan't elaborate on this. Sensitive topic.

9. Your heart breaks much more easily.
W: Only if it concerns my little one.

10. You think of someone else 234,836,178,976 times a day.
W: Referring to the little one I'm assuming.

11. Every day is a surprise.
W: Er... maybe baby days, when we were amazed by simple things like flipping, pulling oneself up etc. But as days grow, expectations too. New single word vocabulary no longer surprises me. It's gotta be alot more & these certainly do not occur daily.

12. Bodily functions are no longer repulsive. In fact, they please you. (Hooray for poop!)
W: They don't repulse me but I'm still not thrilled by the sight of poop, other than if my little one has been having constipation and finally all came out. But then again, I would be thrilled myself if I finally pooped after a week's constipation :P

13. You look at your baby in the mirror instead of yourself.
W: As a new mom who wanted to do everything right, I certainly neglected myself at the beginning. But slowly I started to learn that I needed to take care of myself too & I didn't want to be labelled as a frumpy, grumpy, ugly mommy so I once again took care of myself, clothes, make up etc. That's something really important.

14. You become a morning person.
W: This one chop confirm stamp. Especially when my little one wakes up at 6am on a Saturday morning... I'm like WTF! When she's up, she insists we all get up too :(

15. Your love becomes limitless, a superhuman power.
W: Yeah, I shower her with hugs & kisses every single day. Many many of them. And I tell her how much I love her every single day.

:)

It's about there...

2011-09-16T08:25:00.002+08:00

Had a false alarm yesterday... leaks started again but decided against going to the hospital, just in case it wasn't time. Mother's instinct also told me it's not time. So we just did an urgent walk in at Dr Fong, just to make sure that all is still in order.

Nah, not dilated yet but Dr Fong can now feel baby no. 2's head. It's about time he says, be prepared for some action very soon.

Ahhhh.. when?? Ah Cheng's wedding is on 24 Sept, it'll be nice to attend but I'm getting really exhausted with the heavy front load. Baby's 3 kg as of yesterday.

Anytime soon...

A little update on my pregnancy

2011-09-12T16:29:00.002+08:00

I'm in week 37+... Dr Fong says cervix is still pretty far back, so I should be able to last another week at least. So there goes my "chap gor meh" baby.. Jilliane was born on the 1st day of the 8th month, so I had initially thought if baby no. 2 pops on the 15th day of the 8th month, it would be perfect..

In any case, any day works fine for me. As long as my baby comes out healthy & happy. Sleeping at night has been difficult. Once I get up to pee in the mid morning, I hardly fall back asleep till 6am. I seem to be constantly out of breath throughout the day and no sleeping position seems to work. Well, we're pretty much in the doldrums if we really want baby no. 2 out soon.. it's a case of getting it over & done with OR let's get as much sleep as we can now!!!!

Potty training - check!

2011-08-18T11:59:00.004+08:00

Ok, I've officially packed up ALL of Jilliane's pull ups to put aside for baby no. 2.

Thanks to Janet's encouragement & my own "neowness", JD's potty trained for both day & night. It's a huge relief on our wallets now that we only need purchase diapers for 1.

But boy, it was tough having to wake up in the middle of the night & drag a 14.5kg sleeping kid out of bed, not mentioning those accidents when we were awakened by wet bedsheets. I'm glad that most of the ordeal is now over & I feel proud of my little girl when I happen to toss & open my eyes at 3am & spot her sitting by herself at the potty, with the trickling sound of pee. *smiles*...

Update on baby no. 2

2011-07-28T08:28:00.006+08:00

Guilty as charged, I haven't been spewing out as much as I ought to for baby no.2. Life's alot more hectic with a kid & there's juz not enough time to really sit down & pen all your thoughts.

Nonetheless I'm now on my way to work & since I've got a nice little seat on the bus this morning, I figured it'll be perfect to translate some feelings into words .. ie abt baby no.2, preps & all.

As I was changing into my workwear this morning, it suddenly dawned on me that I have yet to spend a single cent on maternity wear! & i'm hitting 32 wks in a couple of days! Granted, I had some pretty hand me downs from dear June but I'm still pretty impressed with myself for my self restraint! Cash does seem to still disappear rather quickly & beats me where it all went :p Prob to my daily doses of barcook bread, esp my new found favourite, custard milky!

We've yet to fix a name for baby no. 2. Dw's initial choice of Joshua dylan has somewhat drifted off. His favorite of the moment is Jenson, after F1's Jenson Button. I'm cool with that, just that we can't seem to decide if it should be spelt as Jensen instead. Then there's the other name.. Should it be Darius, so the initials will still be JD but then would that cause any confusion with the real McCoy? I would have gone with Taylor Jensen, afterall Taylor Lautner is sooooo charming & TJ Wu sounds hip but the meaning of Taylor totally sucks. It means... tailor... literally. So we're still trawling books & the web, hoping for some inspiration soon! Btw ask JD what name does she want to give didi, and her reply will be "House", with a big grin flashed across her face :P

Then there are baby clothes... Who on earth said there's nothing to buy for boys! I went nuts at the Fox sale recently, the little men's shirts hanging on the racks were just too cute to resist! & thanks to Eve who passed me little E's clothes..

Weight gain is limited this round & I attribute it to the 1st nasty 5 months of nausea & loss of appetite & also to the twice weekly swimming sessions that I embarked myself on. And somehow I think the old wives' tale of different tummy shapes whilst expecting a girl or boy holds true! I'm not as wide as I was with jd but I'm definitely more protruding in front & the belly button turned into an outsy very early, prob mid 5th month.

That's my quick update & next up will be my decision on which hospital to deliver at... Mt E or back to Mt Alv... Will need to decide soon, after my maternity tour of Mt E next week :)

Japanese Soft Cotton Cheesecake

2011-07-25T11:50:00.002+08:00

With DW on the road to recovery & JD having recovered fully from her fever, I feel alot more relaxed and am up to baking again! Last weekend, I tried baking another cheesecake, this time Jap style.

Overall I thought the texture was slightly harder than what we usually buy from the shops. Gotta research & try to find a way to get around this.. but definitely I will only go the au naturel way, no chemicals, no essence. Only the best, the purest ingredients!

Choc Chip Cheesecake

2011-07-06T09:12:00.004+08:00

Tried my 2nd cheesecake last weekend as DW had requested me to bake one for his birthday. It turned out pretty ok, not as heavy & sweet as my 1st one as I had searched for a different recipe with less cheese & sugar content.

But because of me trying to prevent too much air from entering during the mixing process, I may not have whipped the mixture long enough and this may have resulted in a "not as soft as it should be" cheesecake.

Oh well, as what my mom says, you will need many many tries to bake the perfect cake. Can't doubt her on that... she IS the master of baking...

AND, because it had chocolate chips, JD refused to eat it :( I know my little girl hates chocolate but I had assumed that little dots of brown would still be acceptable to her but apparently NOT! Sigh, At least I still had my dad & dw devouring it!

Next up, strawberry cheesecake! :) JD loves strawberries, so I'm sure she's gonna enjoy this one!

Shepard's Pie

2011-06-27T15:17:00.003+08:00

It's been ages since I've had a decent Shepard's Pie. Frankly I think the best ones I've ever had were the ones at Gab's parties during our college days. Recently those I've eaten pales in comparison, especially those commercially made ones sold at the shops. No matter how authentic the claims are, they just somehow do not make the mark. So much so, that I promised myself to make my very own. I trawled through tons of recipes online, and finally found 2 that seemed tasty enough and combined the best parts of both to create my very own Shepard's pie!

And so I did. Not the best I admit but it's good enough for my family to enjoy. JD came up to me with her thumbs up and my mom & helper (both of whom are not into overly sweet nor salty stuff) were enjoying up to their last bits.

I'm very encouraged to make a 2nd attempt, to make it slightly saltier the next round. DW says the beef & potato could be a little tastier. I did cut back on the salt by ALOT (almost non existent) as being the ever health conscious me, I thought the butter & sweetness of the ingredients would more than sufficiently make up for the blandness. But apparently not... I'll just opt for the healthier version: pan salt :)

Lion King

2011-06-20T09:46:00.005+08:00

We chanced upon an article that published kids under 3 get to watch Lion King for ... free!

Wow! This is almost perfect since JD totally recognises the play's ads on TV, newspapers & banners attached to street lamps. But of course being the ever considerate parents (ahem!), we were a little worried that she may cry in the midst or talk too loudly and disturb the rest of the audience. So, we decided to just play it safe by getting aisle seats nearer to the back to allow us an easy getaway should the need arise.

And wow again! When we got there yesterday, we were shocked at the number of kiddos present! Somehow I was relieved as if a heavy responsibility was lifted off me. In addition, the seats that we got, though the 2nd cheapest ones in the house ($85), were just as good! We had a clear view of the stage & even had the "animals" and the "cast" coming by next to us during the play which of course got JD even more thrilled!

Kids around us were talking loudly, such that Jd's comments like "Oh, where's baby lion now?" & "Mommy Mommy, giraffe! I also have a giraffe at home!" and what else not seemed negligible. When the cast took their final bow, she even told me "Tomorrow we come & see Lion King again". *__*

Wah lau, baby girl, your mommy doesn't print money ya know! *__*

Yes, we had a great time but I felt terribly bad for those people with no kids, who went for the play. I could just imagine how irritated they were to be disturbed. It didn't seem fair that they had to put up with the unnecessary chatter when they have paid good money to enjoy themselves sans noise. Perhaps, for future plays, the organisers could instead set aside certain timeslots, specially catered for families with kids. *shrug*.. just a thought..

Our first gifts from JD!

2011-06-20T00:00:00.000+08:00

Mother's Day

Father's Day

jd's in an ad!

2011-06-15T10:19:00.002+08:00

Babies, Babies & More Babies

2011-06-13T10:47:00.003+08:00

Had a spate of baby galore recently.. started with Pam & baby CD, then had Gab with baby Brandon. Last week alone, I visited Jas & baby Trevor and Mei with baby Ashley in hospital. There's still Selina who's due in July.

Baby Ashley so reminded me of JD with her incessant loud cries and how they were comforted by only 1 method, being in the arms of a loved one, be it Daddy, Mommy or Granny. These girls sure know what they want! Maybe it's a XX chromosome thingy as CD, Brandon & Trevor were all so quaint & were satisfied with just sleeping & a little feeding!

The little one tumbling in my tummy is of XY chromosome so I do pray that he'll be a little easier to care for versus his Jie Jie JD. But whatever is, I'm anticipating his arrival and wonder if he will resemble DW or me. Last visit at Dr FY, baby XY has already turned, his head is down but of course not engaged yet. I'm getting excited especially after seeing all my good friends with their newborns and can't wait to carry baby XY in my arms. On the other hand, I'm terrified just at the thought of the sleepless nights and given that this time round, I'm pretty determined to work hard at breast feeding, I really hope I will be alot more relaxed this round.

And now.. we've gotta work harder at figuring what to name him...

Fibs & excuses

2011-06-10T11:39:00.003+08:00

scenario 1
Jd's classmate had a birthday party in school and the kids were given a goody bag each. In it was JD's favourite sweets - gummy bears.
She told my mom: Mommy says I can eat all.

scenario 2
in the goody bag, there was also a biscuit which she was happily holding & eating.. until my mom who was sitting next to her idling decided to read the newspapers. Jd immediately objected. My mom very nicely tried explaining to her that since she was busy eating her biscuit, she ought to let Ah mom read her papers. Jd said no, she wants ah ma to hold her biscuit & feed her so crumbs will not fall all over the floor.

.......

Kite Flying

2011-06-07T13:13:00.008+08:00

Before we headed to Todai at MBS for our annual 3G + Granny's lunch with Dw's family, we decided to pop by the Marina Barrage to embark JD on adventures of kite flying. It was great day, windy & a little cloudy, perfect for a short daddy - daughter bonding session!

All things PINK!

2011-04-11T10:03:00.005+08:00

The little one wants all her stuff in pink. Clothes, balloons, candies.. EVERYTHING!!

Even for this animal ride at Vivo, she insisted on the pink er.. whatever animal that was, hippo or rino or pig or a cross breed of a pig with rino horns, I haven't been able to decipher it yet :P

Luckily those in the front of her in the queue were boys so they rushed for alligators, giraffes etc and she managed to get her pink creature car successfully. There were MANY giraffe cars but only ONE pink car!

Btw, whoever thought of bringing this event in must be making tons of $$! It freaking costs $8 for a mere 5 mins of driving round the little tentage. If it ain't because JD is now sooo into driving and I didn't want to disappoint her, I probably wouldn't have splurged!

Bali

2011-03-28T15:02:00.001+08:00

this post has been in my draft folder for the longest time... just didn't have the energy to upload the photos..

We've gone & we're back. A short 3 day vacation.

The villa we stayed in was great! Service was excellent, location was convenient with food & shops just outside but yet it was really quaint, away from the hustle & bustle of busy Jln Legian.

It wasn't a perfect trip. I was in my 1st trimester and still feeling pretty much nauseous almost the whole day. Dw was down with a very bad throat and cough. If it weren't for the fact that we had to use up our Krisflyer points before expiry, we would never have booked the trip more than 6 months ahead.

But both of us still made it a point to enjoy ourselves and to make this trip a memorable one for JD. Afterall, this could potentially be our last family vacation for 2011 with this totally unplanned & unexpected pregnancy. We would need to cancel our UK trip in July (I'll be abt 30 weeks and as much as I really wanna be there for C's wedding - my 1st English wedding and as much as I feel so guilty for jeopardizing JD's 1st chance of being a flower girl, there was just no way that I could do the long haul flight at that stage)

It didn't help that JD refused to walk for the entire trip, saying that the floor was dirty and she didn't want her shoes to get dirty. Dw was frustrated at some point but he still gave in to her demands. I tried to carry her every once in a while but to carry a 14kg load & walk on badly paved path was abit too much for me to handle & I often gave up after 5 mins. It was great relief for him when we had a personal driver for the 2nd day, bringing us to Ubud & Jimbaran. And whilst she was driving me nuts whilst seated in the car as one minute she wanted to sit on my lap facing the road, the next she wanted to face me, as per Dw, it was only fair after all the carrying he had to do.

But I'm sure JD had a great time, judging from these photos. She had a great time having her dinner by the beach at windy Jimbaran. She kept wanting to swim in the beautiful pool in our villa and squealing with delight when she was able to swim from end to the other (with the help of fairy wings of course!). She had a great breakfast of ham, sausage & scrambled eggs for 2 straight days. And she had a wonderful time running around our spacious villa, space which she doesn't get back home.

Remind me again?

2011-03-22T13:44:00.005+08:00

Can someone pls remind me again... why am I pregnant? Ok ok, apart from the fact about birds & bees, I somehow had forgotten about the tiring 1st trimester, the clumsy & painful 3rd trimester, the sleepless newborn nights, the fat fat body etc etc.

This pregnancy is taking its toll on me. Maybe it's age catching up with me. Apparently 3yrs do make a difference. I'm feeling so lethargic. I can hardly swallow & smell food without feeling the need to gag. Add that to having to deal with a feisty 2yr+ toddler and it sure doesn't make life any rosier.

I hardly have the energy to shop and I just want to lie in bed ALL DAY. I think about the freedom that I will lose once again and the lifestyle compromise that I need to have and I get all emotional & depressed.

Up till this day I can't believe that I actually got myself pregnant, with no planning at all. If you knew about me, my lifestyle, my biological make up, you will know that it's almost impossible for me to get pregnant, much less without any proper planning or preparation.

So I can only attribute this to God's will. So yes, I treasure this little one in me and I am excited at his/her arrival. I know my heart will melt when I see this little one & carry him / her in my arms for the very 1st time.

Meanwhile, I pray for the little one to grow well and for God to give me the strength to survive well for the coming months.

Jd's very own!

2011-03-04T17:33:00.002+08:00

check this out!

My balloon man

2011-02-28T10:22:00.009+08:00

A couple of months back, I posted that DW had a great imagination with mega blocks. He has decided to put that imagination to use again, this time round, on balloons!

And he's so darn serious that he's actually signed up for a course on this! I'm expecting many more designs after the course definitely, but meanwhile these are the few which he has done so far. Very impressive for an amateur! So if any of you out there needs a balloon man for free for your kids' parties, you know who to call *wink*

(Fr L: Poodle, flower with stalk & leaves, simple butterfly)

Flower Bracelet

An improved, more colourful butterfly!

Buying over Borders

2011-02-22T10:10:00.004+08:00

The Borders at Parkway is one of JD's favorite playgrounds. There're books, DVDs and cute inanimate objects for her to shop.

As such, it was rather sad when I read that the "mother" in Australia was bankrupt as that could mean that the Singapore branches may jolly well close shop soon enough. So I've been constantly trying to drum this slowly into JD's mind that "Borders is closing soon" so she wouldn't feel so sad IF & when it really happens. However I don't think she has pretty much gotten the idea yet as she usually will follow up with "Borders close, wait, Borders open again". Ahhh, the innocence of a child!

So last night, I gave Dw something to ponder over. I told him why not consider buying over the Borders in Singapore! With his e-specialist knowledge, he can turn around Borders & perhaps built it to be more technologically inclined! Maybe launch an iphone app, create apps on each story, each song (afterall i-tunes aren't available to Singapore credit cards), each dvd, the list goes on... Obviously, the reaction from him was... "and where do you propose I get the funds from, ROLL EYES..."

Oh well, it's okay to dream isn't it!

*ps: anyway I read an article this morning that Singapore Borders ain't affected by the bankruptcy of her "mother" in Australia, let's wait & see.. I AM crossing my fingers X!

Decisions

2011-01-25T08:59:00.002+08:00

The responsibility of an adult -> decisions, decisions, decisions.

So many new happenings in such a short span has left me confused, frustrated, sad, happy. And now I need to make decisions.

Oh, how I hate being an adult. I wanna be a little girl again, back in school & enjoying recess breaks! My bills are paid for, decisions are made by others..

For once, I relish mugging for exams than the independence I enjoy now.

BLEAH!!!!!

Preparing for CNY

2011-01-14T11:06:00.006+08:00

Amidst Ah Ma's baking of pineapple tarts & kueh lapis, JD is now old enough to do her share of preparing for Chinese New Year.

First, she tests the beer, to make sure all is good for our gatherings, cheers!

Then she does springcleaning so our guests can catch up comfortably ;)

Getting a fresh cut to welcome our guests...

And, she gets her "pink ice cream" as a reward for being such a co-operative girl *mommy's totally pleased*

Aged

2011-01-10T07:49:00.002+08:00

I was at Butter Factory last Friday & i admit, i've aged.

I felt a strong sense of yearning initially when I saw the Girls were oh so young & oh so Chio in their super short skirts & super high heels & worst of all I didn't see a familiar face at all! Getting into the club was already a hassle. There was the normal queue, the guest list queue, the VIP queue. Of course i had to be at the 3rd option else i wouldn't even bother being there but the difference now is i'm in that queue not because of MY own merit but because I was a friend of the friend whose friend has a friend who's the VIP. What an awfully distant relationship. So unlike the days when all it took to get a VIP table at Dragonfly was a call from me to the VIP direct. I thought back of my heydays at Zouk when I could simply stroll to the front of the queue because i knew the bouncers & everyone (almost) on the centre platform was my friend. And talk to these 1980s kids about the iconic Mdm Wong and they will not understand. I had asked around prior to this day where exactly in Fullerton was Butter Factory. I received a whole string of replies ranging from Starbucks turn left to above Overeasy ( another huh?!). Damn, if only the reply was where Centro was, I would have known!

As the night went on & as I sat with my back facing the Singapore River & the 3 towers of MBS, my eyes were transfixed on the hip youngsters, watching them groove to House & looking at them intoxicating themselves. I still love House & I still love drinking. But I realized that I've progressed (that probably sounds more sophisticated than aged).

I've moved on to the next stage of my life where I prefer to instead drink tea at the Mandarin Oriental lounge. A place where it's my front rather than my back that faces the Singapore river & the 3 towers of MBS. A place where soulful jazz fills my nights.

Simply put: my time is over.

Ice Age

2011-01-03T19:08:00.005+08:00

Moninet calls the French high comm.

Moninet: hi, I would like to ask about Filipinos requiring a visa to France. Could you transfer me to the right person for me to speak to please?

Staff: sorry they do not answer the phone.

Moninet: how about an email address pls?

Staff: sorry they do not reply emails.

Moninet: then how can I find out more about the visa issue?

Staff: you need to come down personally to ask us any questions. We are open till 12 on xx days (or some weird timing which I can't really remember but definitely within the half day range & definitely less than the 5 work day norm)

Moninet: but I'm not applying for a visa yet. I would just like to find out more info like the fees etc. Can't someone just speak to me over the phone?

Staff: no, they don't answer calls & they don't reply emails.

Cork man, are they still living in the Ice Age or what?!!

Accomodation in Bali

2010-12-31T12:00:00.006+08:00

*moninet taps fingers*

where should we stay, where should we stay?

I'm been mulling on this, toggling amongst the numerous choices that were thrown to us. The different areas are confusing enough to baffle me. Some say Ubud, but I say no. I'm no artisan and I'm not about to stay in the middle of a padi field. Some say Nusa Dua to enjoy private pristine beach time and Aaron swears by the pool and rooms at Conrad but I need my shops, Dw needs his fast food fixes. And don't people say, going to Bali means living the Bali experience, ie, staying in a villa with a private pool, our own personal butler and having someone cook your breakfast?

Damai Villa at Lovina was tempting. I have never seen dolphins swimming in the oceans, but this wasn't enough to overpower my fear of isolation. I convinced myself I would stay there when JD was big enough to appreciate the dolphins and go "wow" at each jump.

Seminyak seemed good enough and I was kinda set on Bvilla but their policy was weird. They wanted me to sign a release statement with my credit card details, they wanted a copy of the front & back of my credit card and they wanted a copy of my passport. All these didn't make me feel too secure. Too many stories of credit card scams going round. And I didn't want to be a difficult customer by asking for exceptional waiver of their requirements so reluctantly, I gave it a miss. On a side note, the staff managing the emails was really efficient and patient, giving quick replies to my queries.

Which, may be a blessing in disguise afterall! We finally decided on villa de daun, highly recommended by I-Lin. It's in Kuta, but yet off the happening stretch so we sort of get the best of both worlds. Convenience with serenity. Not very cheap but at least I'm getting peace of mind, which is what vacations are all about!

Merry Christmas

2010-12-24T22:27:00.003+08:00

So I shall feast, drink and be merry this week and indulge in the many gifts that my wonderful friends have given JD & me.

M-E-R-R-Y C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S L-O-V-E-L-I-E-S!

One Painted Nail

2010-12-20T12:28:00.003+08:00

I was at my usual nail place, preparing my nails for the party tonight. JD popped by just as I was about to finish drying them and because she gave the girls there such an endearing smile, they wanted to paint her nails. I wasn't too keen as I didn't want to instill vanity in her at such a young age and I also dread the chemicals which she may inhale, especially from the polish remover.

Eventually I agreed to ONE nail, JUST ONE nail. And boy, she was so excited about her little pink thumb. She literally walked around Parkway after that with her clenched fist and a little thumb sticking out, proudly showing off her freshly painted nail to people who walked past.

Megablocks

2010-12-12T15:44:00.001+08:00

I'm an absolute nitwit at these but JD's daddy is nuts about them and I gotta admit he's darn good with them.

He can just about build anything one asks for with these little blocks and I've been impressed with what he can whip out almost immediately. So far there's been a giraffe, a robot, a snake, a tunnel, a car and many others and these were from his imagination. No references to manuals, no pictures to model against.

Tunnel

Robot

I admit I've much to gripe about his parenting skills. I mean.. when he's tasked to make JD sleep, he falls asleep before she does. Babysitting JD to him means having both veg in front of the tv. But he's afterall JD's dear daddy and he is good at what daddies are supposed to be good for, fun, games and... MORE FUN!

Just leave the TLC to me, the Mommy... :)

JD's 1st Class Photo

2010-12-09T09:11:00.005+08:00

JD has finally brought back her class photo, her 1st class photo and I couldn't stop gushing over it. The kids (and of course especially my baby girl) are just so cute! There's something in those serious little faces that tickles me. I can just imagine the havoc that the teachers and the photographer had to handle before they managed to snap this.

I am beaming from ear to ear as I write this. I am so proud of my little girl. From a tiny baby to a pre-school toddler... how time flies and this is going to be her 3rd X'mas...

Hi

2010-11-16T15:25:00.003+08:00

I finally spoke to her today, after a week of cold war. The instant emotion that gripped me was relief. I can't explain it, but I actually was relieved that at least we spoke. The last week was painful. No words exchanged. No updates about each other.

It was an awkward moment, probably neither of us expected each other's presence. For that split second, I didn't know how to react. I didn't know if I should say 'Hi", I didn't know if I should smile. I think she didn't have a clue either. Then I mustered up my courage, I gave a smile & managed a really weak "hi". It probably didn't turn out the way it should have but it did fulfil its intent, ie, it broke the ice.

We started chatting. I felt a tinge of sadness that 2 people who were so happy together before, now seem like total strangers. It wasn't a very long chat, probably 5 minutes. It was a conversation on her health. At that point, I felt awful. Here I was being a totally selfish prick, thinking that she was deliberately giving me the cold shoulder and there she was, nursing herself back to pink glow. And before I knew it, conversation was over, we split and we went on our separate ways.

Now I'm engulfed in confusion. I do not know if I should now make the 1st move & beep her. I've deleted her contact no. in anger, I've removed her from my instant messenger in fury. No doubt though, the details are still very vivid in my mind. But the point is, I cannot be there for her on THAT day, that's what my head is saying, so why even bother making the next step. But I want to. I worry for her, I want back the pretty, lively girl who has a special place in my life. My heart tells me I should care, my head tells me I shouldn't.

Maybe it's God's will that we are now the way we are. We were never meant to be that close and we are back to where we belong. 2 strangers, each in their own world.

A new adventure at the beach

2010-11-08T09:56:00.003+08:00

JD loves going to the beach. She gets really excited when I tell her, "pack up! we're going to the beach!". She'll take her pail, spade, watering can & moulds and rush to put on her shoes.

However, JD simply abhors the sand. She thinks it's dirty. She wouldn't walk barefoot on the sand, she wouldn't sit on the sand. She wouldn't touch the sand. The only thing she would do is to just scoop up the sand with the spade and throw it into the mould.

Yesterday, we saw a difference. I had initially taken off her shoes & dragged her across the sand, down to the sea. She was squealing in fear. But somehow, things turned slightly better and she started to play with the sand, literally using her fingers to dig at the sand. Needless to say, I was like.. ee yucks cos I'm not a fan of sand either. (though I knew I had to put aside this dislike so that JD would have a chance to explore the sand to decide for herself if she was going to follow her mommy's footsteps)

And the day ended with her feet being buried in the sand. A remarkable improvement!:)

It's a tough time

2010-11-02T14:44:00.004+08:00

I've no idea what's going on but JD's been a handful to handle recently. Not like she has always been the perfect angel but nowadays, she is displaying the most outrageous part of her which none of has ever seen.

Firstly, she hasn't been very nice to our new helper, Chona. She doesn't allow Chona to feed her or put her to bed. She's not welcoming to Chona bathing nor changing her either but she has learnt to accept this as a no choice situation as Ah Ma has hurt her back & unable to do either of it AND it comes with a condition, Ah Ma has to stand at the door.

She has also been throwing ALOT of tantrums. And I really mean alot. She will not take "NO" for an answer. And it has become so uncontrollable that we have resorted to locking her up in her room in a bid to "teach her a lesson". My heart aches when I do that but I'm really at my wits end.

I do not know if it is a stage of the terrible twos but I do not seem to see this behaviour in other children around the same age. I pray hard that we will be able to see the end of this soon.

She's the Centre of My World

2010-10-25T11:00:00.000+08:00

Thank you to YOU

2010-10-21T00:42:00.003+08:00

I dedicate this song to Dw for making the bold decision to hold my hand and walk down the aisle exactly 4 years ago.. This was played during our 2nd walk in for the dinner.

Thank you for the 4 wonderful years of marriage and thank you for giving me a chance to be part of this very happy family. I vow to be the best wife I ever could be to you and the best mom I ever could be to JD. Muacks!

Happy anniversary, & many more to come..

天分不出边界
却又连接
白天每个黑夜
那是我对你分不开的心
苍老了
都不冷却
地满载了一切
这些那些
悲与喜的季节
那是我为你累积的真
再没有欠缺
再没有告别
天长地久
握你的手紧紧放在我胸口
红尘女子的温柔天地男儿的港口
天长地久没有尽头你是我全部所有
天地交错得相遇
用我一生和你相守

Shots

2010-10-14T08:00:00.000+08:00

An old friend shared a link with me this morning. Not exactly with me, it's more to introduce a photographer to another friend who's getting married and searching for pre-wedding photography.

The funny thing is when I saw these photos, I felt a lump in my throat. The photos were beautifully taken. The angles, the lightings truly brought out the grandeur of the venue and the beauty of the couple but yet somehow I do not feel the sincere love between them. I used to gush over pre-wedding shots of my friends and will always envy how beautiful / handsome they look as brides / grooms to be. Now that I think back, yeah, that's just about all there is to these photos. A chance to capture you at your best, with an elaborate gown and a nicely tailored suit and full make up. I mean, no matter how ugly you are, how bad can you look with so much help? If you still don't look your best then I think you're just hopeless.

Anyway these poses are choreographed and best of all, how much love can there be when these people have yet to go through the daily ritual of sleeping & waking up together each & every day, of seeing each other day in & day out and witnessing how sms changes from " Hi darling, I miss you so much, wish you were by my side" to "Tonight home late". The kids have yet to come into the picture where the ugliest scenes will then take place. Hell is raised to earth. These photos to me, mimic the exact kind of life that most of us are leading, pretentious.

Maybe the heart is too cold now, maybe the mind is too cynical. I think such photography should be kept till the couple has truly weathered the storms of marriage. The same link had an album where the photographer captured shots of his parents. Yes, with wrinkled skin & all. But the amazing thing is this album depicted the warmth & love that was between the 2 people. And yes, they were just as beautiful , if not more than those sweet young things.

Enjoying JD's new bed

2010-10-12T08:44:00.002+08:00

Temasek Review

2010-10-05T21:46:00.001+08:00

The passing of Mrs LKY has renewed my interest in the Temasek Review.. It is to my disgust when I read some of the comments. It's disheartening to know I have fellow Singaporeans who can rant so proudly their snide remarks on this sad occasion. But then again I suppose it's only with presence of such shallow people that allows the mediocre to shine.. Such a sad fact..

Just say Yes or No

2010-09-29T10:02:00.006+08:00

I cannot understand why some people are procrastinators. Each time you ask them if they can make it to an event, they will give you replies like: see how, I don't know, I can't promise you.

And this simply irks me.

It's not as though it's a last minute event where I can perfectly understand if one can't make it. I encountered this when I was trying to plan my wedding and JD's 1st birthday. Some people just couldn't or wouldn't confirm. Maybe they just didn't want to turn up. If so, I would have appreciated a straight "No". Regardless of reason, it's not something I can accept considering that I'm a very decisive person. Dealing with wishy washy people is simply a waste of my time. These people just gotta realise that making a decision doesn't involve only themselves. It affects MY schedules as well. Plain selfish? Plain inconsiderate? Or .. maybe I don't mean anything to these people. The truth hurts as always but if so, rather than drag an insincere relationship, why not just end it.

If I mean something to you, you would make time for me. If you can't even commit to something that you have been given ample time to plan for, then I rather just cut you off from my life.

爱很简单

2010-09-28T22:43:00.002+08:00

诺爱真的是那么简单，世界就会变得更完美，我们的遗憾与烦恼也许不会那么多..

忘了是怎麼開始　也許就是對你　有一種感覺
忽然間發現自己　已深深愛上你　真的很簡單

愛的地暗天黑都已無所謂　是是非非無法抉擇..
沒有後悔為愛日夜去跟隨　那個瘋狂的人是我..

这首歌在我心理永远是那么有意义..

A helper finally...

2010-09-28T12:06:00.001+08:00

After 2 years of battling with my conscience and my happiness, I've finally decided that I'm going to get a helper.

Yesterday was commendable as I finally went to an agency, shortlisted a couple and actually paid the deposit. Yes, I put some money down and that would probably indicate how serious I am this time round.

Previously I merely called around a few agencies, trying my luck that I will be able to chance upon the "perfect" helper, knowing jolly well that that will never happen. Somehow I couldn't muster enough courage to really convince myself to invite a stranger into my house.

I don't know what spurred me on yesterday. Maybe it's the accumulating tension at home, maybe it's the beast in me screaming for freedom, maybe I'm just not fit to be a mom.

But whatever it is, I'm just glad that help's on the way...

Saturday morning

2010-09-11T09:01:00.001+08:00

It's one of those weekend mornings when I wake up, feeling totally grouchy and the only thing that can possibly save the day is a hot Starbucks latte. So here i am, 9am at Parkway's Starbucks with my latte, watching people pass me by through the clear glass window. I love such mornings..

4喜

2010-09-08T22:15:00.004+08:00

JD turned two and this year there was no elaborate celebration like the one we had last year.

Instead, it was split into 4 simple parties, with the main activity being the blowing of candles & cutting of cake. She's been getting the kick out of these 2 and whenever the word birthday is mentioned, she will immediately act out blowing candles & saying "eat cake".

The 1st one was with dw's relatives, 2nd was the one with her tiny tot friends from school, 3rd was with mommy's colleagues at work and last with just mommy, daddy, ah kong & ah ma right at home.

Happy Birthday darling... U'll always be mommy's baby..

Lost in Bella

2010-09-07T17:40:00.002+08:00

I've tried to resist starting on the Twilight series as long as I could. I knew that if I started, I would be transported into a fantasy world. I know myself best and true enough, now I wish that I was a character in the book, if only I was Bella Swan, torn between a vampire and a werewolf. I mean, how cool can that be!

Every waking moment is spent burrowing myself into the books and I'm half wishing that these are magical books, books that will never end with stories that just go on & on.

A bookworm since as young as I can possibly remember, I would snap up every book in any series that I could lay my hands on. I recall anticipating eagerly for the new book in the Nancy Drew series. I would read & re-read Enid Blyton's stories. I will always remember Elizabeth the naughtiest girl in school, the Wishing Chair, Mr Moonface etc. I can't help but smile to myself, when these characters come flashing back. As I grew older, I started on those teenage love stories from Sweet Valley High and I can still recall how I would drool over Bruce Patman, notwithstanding that he is all but a created, painted face. On hindsight, Bruce does resemble Jacob the werewolf and they both have the dark deep set eyes that C Ronaldo has. (My taste in men has been pretty constant ya)

I'm now hemming & hawing on each page of Eclipse as I know that once this ends, I have to move on to Breaking Dawn and that spells the end of my Bella Swan fantasy. Once again, I dread to get back to reality.

My little Napoleon

2010-09-07T12:45:00.000+08:00

JD's new found interest is putting the bucket over her head. Half the time I hear my dad grumbling at her "don't put it on your head, wait cannot come out then your head stuck inside". That sure sounds damn corny.

March on! Left right left right.

Stand still!

Did I do a good job?

Simon says

2010-09-01T07:30:00.000+08:00

This happened when mommy was away & daddy was left alone to bond with daughter..

Stick out your tongue

Show your teeth

Point to your nose

Dig for gold

Finger on your cheek

Pull your ear

The energy from chaos

2010-08-29T20:37:00.001+08:00

I was just watching a short clip on the walls of Singapore whilst waiting for the English NDP rally by PM Lee.

William Lim, principal architect of Golden Mile Complex defended his unique design which is in serious dilapidating condition, to which he retorted: if there's no chaos, there's no energy.

It struck me immediately as this can be applied to so many aspects of our lives.

Close to our hearts, I ask is the lack of chaos the very root of our disintegrated society? Previously when money was scarce, when we wouldn't know if there would be food on our table for the night, our relationships were strong. We loved our parents, we loved our friends, we loved our partners. Essentially, we treasured them. We had the energy to continue to love strongly as we were all interdependent on one another.

However as we progress, we are alot harder in our wills and we hold no qualms in ridding useless people out of our lives. We can just walk out of relationships without batting a single eyelid because we think that we can afterall survive by ourselves. Which I do not doubt that we can but if one day the whole world to collapse can we survive alone or we will sing Aellulia?

I'm guilty of this but ironically I'm not ashamed of it. Perhaps i'm just looking for justifications, but if I do not seek chaos, how can I possibly build up the energy that is so lacking & without this energy how can I improve and be appreciative of who and what is around me?

Just like the good old days..

Lian Mei

2010-08-27T08:46:00.005+08:00

DW often says he misses the ah lian whom he fell in love with.. Wah rau eh, I mother liao leh.. how to still have blonde hair & wear mini skirt :P

Following the footsteps of her mommy???

YOG or punctuality

2010-08-21T08:56:00.001+08:00

It's 8.40am & I'm bloody stuck on the ECP trying to get to MBS. It's not for fun, it's to earn my peanuts for my meals. If I had my way, i wouldn't even be here. I would be snoozing in bed which is the only decent thing to do on such a gloomy day.

But no, 2 lanes on the ECP are shut, 99% of the roads to MBS are closed and it just irks more that the YOG buses behind are flashing their lights and the infamous phase which has recently been haunting our cars' rearview mirrors: YAW EVIG is screaming through my already scattered brains.

Wake up, this is Singapore. Did the PAP really think that noone works on Saturdays? Did they really think that our bosses are gonna believe us when we say we were late cos we gave way to the YOG buses? DUH. Wake up.

Searching for my roots

2010-08-17T18:01:00.008+08:00

Little known to many, I'm a Hokkien Peranakan.. or so I think I am. My birth cert states my race as Chinese, dialect.. oh well, it's English. So it reads Chinese-English. I haven't the slightest clue how this came about. I can only suspect that they probably asked my dad what dialect he speaks and since he can't speak a word of any of the Chinese dialects, he probably said Malay and they axed that option out as there's no way he could be a Malay and the next answer he gave was probably English, so English it was.

I had the option of stating my correct dialect on JD's birth cert. But I figured I'll just stick to what is on my birth cert. It's uniquely mine and I want it to remain that way. Just like how I'm sure Gab would never change back his surname from Tin to Tan.

I've been meaning to visit the Peranakan museum for the longest time and when I read in the papers that entry was free last Sunday, I headed straight for it right after church. It was an interesting visit and it sure bought back memories of my childhood days when my grandparents were still around and certain traditions were still followed then.

One of the most elaborate set up that I distinctly remember is the Tok Panjang. Every year, on the eve of Chinese New Year, we'll all gather at the long rectangle table at home with dishes like bak wan kepeiting, pongteh, buah keluak amongst the many. It usually was an elaborate feast and everyone was merry.

There was a hall dedicated to religion and I was pleasantly surprised that the video they showed was Fr Alfred Chan & Fr Iggy during the annual Peranakan CNY eve mass at Holy Family. And it was here that I realised my dad was not kidding when he used to tell me that the family converted from Buddhism to Catholicism because of simplicity. Well, perhaps not exactly but I read that as time passed, society modernised, many gave up the complicated rituals. This abandonment may not necessarily be a bad thing. Afterall when I saw how elaborate the wedding ceremony was and that the entire event was a 12 day one, I was relieved that I was born in the modern times. I didn't even have the usual gate crashing session that grooms & their "brothers" had to put up with. I didn't even have the Guo Da Li. I just don't like things that take up too much time, too much effort, too much money. I like things straight to the point, clean & sleek.

The only regret I'll ever have is that I did not don a Kebaya during my wedding. It just didn't occur to me then and for this, I did wish that Little Nonya was shown 3 years earlier so I could have been a little prouder of my heritage. My only hope (& I do hope that I can remember when the time comes) is my baby girl to put on one for hers, to fulfill her mommy's wish.

My Morning with JD

2010-08-10T17:57:00.005+08:00

I took the morning off today, just so I needn't rush to work and I could spend some time with JD who doesn't have school post National Day.

It was a lovely morning. The sky was overcast and that meant no sun! YAY! Perfect time to hit the beach as there would be significantly less people and minus the scorching rays, I knew that it would be almost perfect. I never felt more relaxed than this morning, just standing by the sea, watching JD play with sand and enjoying the cool breeze. Soon after, it started to drizzle and we headed to Mac's for breakfast. Everything done at my own time, own target. If only every morning was like that...

Flowers brighten up the day!

2010-07-29T17:13:00.003+08:00

Thank you daughter & G.. life's alot more cheerful! *big smiles*

Plans for Jd's 2nd birthday

2010-07-26T16:13:00.004+08:00

By some "miraculous" work of God, I no longer have the headache of how to celebrate Jd's 2nd birthday. Suddenly, in a matter of 10 mins, everything got settled.

So no more the need to source for fancy themed party deco, balloons or cake toppers. Just a simple caterer for a small group of the closest knitted people and a cake for the actual day celebration in school.

As long as I get it right, as long as everyone else is happy..

It hurts

2010-07-12T16:42:00.003+08:00

I felt a pain in my heart today. I've not felt it for a very long time. But I know it when it strikes. I made a decision to have it over once & for all.

It hurts. Bad.

Jd's in school!

2010-07-05T13:50:00.005+08:00

OMG... My baby girl's in school finally! It was a fantastic 1st day as not only did she not cry, she even bade farewell to me happily! A huge relief that I needn't go through the usual separation anxiety process and I pray to God for equally good days ahead. :)

30 mins away

2010-06-29T13:29:00.006+08:00

We popped over to Batam over the weekend, for a short break & also to visit Uncle William & Aunty Cecilia.

It was not the usual weekend getaway retreat as we really did alot more than just R&R. They brought us to the best places for meals, shopping centres where we dug out plenty of good bargains, the most "shiok" massage centre ever and we even went to visit kampongs & kelongs. We finally got a chance to see the kind of lifestyles that our parents used to live and realised that simplicity certainly has its virtues and its distress. We saw little children, some as young as JD, weaving in between traffic, selling newspapers on the streets. Life seems so cheap there.

This trip was probably the most unprepared trip we had ever taken with JD. We only started packing the night before, brought as little clothes & diapers as we could since we did not want to check in our luggage. We did not pack cereals or food stuff. JD took a share from every meal I had and we even resorted to buying UHT milk at the supermarkets to lessen our load in our diaper bag.

And we survived!

So yes, check out Batam and you'll realise it's more than just beaches & resorts.. venture out and see for yourself, a beautiful island set in an almost idyllic setting but yet outlined with a tinge of sadness & poverty.

I Heart Wednesday

2010-06-16T17:35:00.004+08:00

It's been a super long day. In the morning itself, I've already had more cases on hand that I alone could have handled.

And now, I've finally finished up all the cases. Time passed really quickly and I'm so happy it's going to be nightfall. Not because it's time to head home, but because it's Wednesday. And Wednesday is GLEE night! Yipee! It's another of those silly high school drama but it's full of music. Music never fails to lift my spirits and it's even better when it's accompanied by beautifully choreographed dance moves. It also has those innocent teenager secret crushes which never fail to bring a smile to my face. Somehow, it makes me feel young again...

Wednesdays used to be Mambo nights.. I still remember those horrendous long queues at Zouk and how fortunate we girls were when they finally opened a girls' queue. We will start to queue at 5pm, head for dinner and party all night long. I loved those days, I had June, Ailin & Mich, I had Pam, Clara & Sok Hui, I had Delvyn and the gang from Nee Soon Delta Camp. It may seem silly now to have done all those things just to ensure that we could get into the club, but those were the days that will always remain a beautiful memory with me.

I can't wait for 10pm! Finally.. the day's over...

Period of Pain

2010-06-07T13:06:00.005+08:00

1st week of June has been tough. Usually this time of the year would be a time of celebration, drinking & having fun. But not this year.

I unfortunately sprained my lower back again the Sunday before my birthday. The sprains last week left me alot more immobile than the 1st one which happened. I hate to say this but both times it happened were because I was busy with JD. The 1st happened when I was trying to carry a bawling JD out of her cot in the middle of the night and the 2nd time was in the bathroom when I was trying to get the mischievous one to bathe. Since then, it's been a week since I carried her and yes, I do miss carrying her.

A week passed & I'm still whining about the pain. I still can't walk normally and I wish I could be lying in bed instead of having to go to work. Each time I get up from sitting for a long time, I can feel the pain searing down my back. It makes think if I didn't have an epidural, would it have made a difference. And I wonder why does my life seem to go downhill after giving birth to JD. It's really bad of me to say such things and I really have to slap myself. I just hope it's a period which will pass quickly enough.

Meanwhile a consolation from all these is that I'm glad JD understands that mommy hurt her back & is in pain. Yesterday whilst I was trying to get her to take her nap, she asked to be carried, but this time round, she specifically asked for mama (as in Ah ma) or Papa and I asked her "can mommy carry you"? She answered "no no" and put her hand on her back, says "mi.. pain". It's moments like this when I could just slam my head against the wall for ever harboring bad thoughts about motherhood.

What's in a birthday?

2010-06-01T16:37:00.003+08:00

I feel sad today. I thought it was because I've an aching lower back but after I "complained" to June, I remembered that this is an annual tradition, a tradition for the past 10+ years of my life.

I still remember the day when I turned 21. I was on Mt Pilatus in Switzerland. I didn't want to attend the party that was going on inside. Instead I chose to hide in the open and bawl my eyes out. I'm a depressive freak who gets sad on my birthday. I don't know why.

It's the eve today and it's just gonna get worse tomorrow. But then again, considering that this is gonna be the 1st time that I need to work (btw, I never had to go to school since it's always the school hols) perhaps it may not be that bad afterall, since I'll have so many people around me such that I cannot hide anywhere.

Happy Birthday Moninet, U MUST BE HAPPY! :)

North Island - Rotorua & Auckland

2010-05-28T15:25:00.002+08:00

We flew to the North Island via Air NZ. The propeller plane flew low and we could see the mountains throughout. Some snow capped, some green.

If you ask me, I would prefer South Island over North Island. It could be due to the slightly warmer weather and perhaps people over at the North were a little gruffier.

Auckland was certainly no fun, traffic was a mad house and the hills and hidden roads made the nightmare worse. Perhaps things would have been better if I had a GPS but since we had no issues driving around with just a map and road signs in the South, I thought it would be similar in the North.

Alas, it was not that simple. Well, we still got ourselves from point A to point B, but the highways were definitely not as straight forward as the South and lots of reversing had to be done.

The main highlights of the North were the Maoris in Rotorua. The show they put up was worth every single cent we paid for and the host somehow reminded me of Obama. Amazingly even though the live performance they put up was really "fierce" and "noisy", JD was not an inch afraid, in fact she was intrigued throughout the show & even bugged us to show her the video when we got back to Singapore. Not once, not twice but even up to three times a day!

And of course DW had his kick of Zorbbing... totally drenched but totally exhilarated!

Auckland is like a typical city, just that I would rather be in Hong Kong anytime. But bo pian, it was the only way I could get my flight back to Singapore. Haha.

Check out my North Island pics right here!

Lost Generation

2010-05-28T15:02:00.004+08:00

A palindrome reads the same backwards as forward. This video reads the exact opposite backwards as forward.

Not only does it read the opposite, the meaning is the exact opposite too.

This is only a 1 minute 44 second long video, but it is brilliant. Make sure you read as well as listen...forward and backward.

This is a video that was submitted in a contest by a 20 year old. The contest was titled "u @ 50" by AARP. This video won second place. When they showed it, everyone in the room was awe-struck and broke into spontaneous applause. So simple and yet so brilliant.

Take a minute and click here to watch

I ran the City!

2010-05-27T20:57:00.002+08:00

Not me.. JD.. but heard from DW that she "cheated" :P apparently she ran 20m & demanded to be carried for the remaining 780m.. still, I'm so proud of father & daughter! :)

Here with Kydric & Kydric's daddy

New Zealand - Mount Cook

2010-05-27T14:10:00.008+08:00

There's really nothing much to say about this place. Cos apart from the towering Mount Cook, there really isn't anything much to see. But Mount Cook itself totally justifies the long, seemingly never ending journey to this little isolated township.
It's beautiful and a night's stopover here was just about the right thing anyone could have done.

It was here, where all of us had our virgin helicopter ride. It was a really funny seeing JD's reaction at stepping on squishy snow for the 1st time. She was quite frightened initially but probably got the hang of it after a while.

We then took a drive back to Christchurch, passing Lake Tekapo. It's a lovely lake but it's almost a dead town with nothing else to see. So, I say,spend your money to stay at the Heritage at Mount Cook. There're omni shows to watch, star gazing activities at night & lovely restaurants to dine in.

Btw, I finally took over the wheel for a small part of this leg. Woohoo! 1st time driving in a foreign country! (Malaysia not counted hor..)

New Zealand - Queenstown & Cromwell

2010-05-14T02:03:00.011+08:00

It was a long long road from Milford back to Queenstown, a whopping drive time of 5 hours! And I certainly wouldn't recommend speeding along this road. We crossed 3 hiding patrol cars. No wonder, it's been advised that if you can't stay a night in Te Anau , you're better off joining a day tour from Queenstown to Milford and back.

Again, back on Highway 95 & Highway 94 and it was only when we approached Queenstown at the Remarkables area that we finally saw sunshine & a rainbow. I call Queenstown the Rainbow town, because in my 3 days stay there, I saw a total of 5 rainbows!

It was with good foresight that I decided to splurge on my stay in Queenstown. Our apartment at Mantra Marina was HUGE and came with a great view of Lake Wakatipu. The ducks on the lake will come up right to our doorstep, obviously a sign that previous guests have been spoiling them with food. We did have some bread and JD was extremely excited with their surprise appearance and so we left her to entertain the ducks (or perhaps it's the other way round) whilst we lazed around.

The night we arrived, the weatherman had forecast flooding along the main tourist strips of Queenstown. When I learnt that this is rare occurence from the dude at the check in counter, (the last one was in 1999), I was like.. wow, we sure "are" lucky aren't we.

Fortunately enough, it was sunshine the next morning and off we went on the TSS Earnslaw to the Walter Peak farm. I've never been a fan of farms. I hate walking on animals' poo and most of the time, the stench at farms is unbearable. Fortunately, Walter Peak was clean, the Colonial house where we had tea in was beautiful and the air was cool & crisp. The only poo I had to skip about was the sheep's tiny droppings. Not exactly my cup of tea but still acceptable.

On on our way out of Queenstown, we went by Kawarau Gorge where I stood and stare the AJ Hackett's Bungy site for a long time. Eventually my fear got the better of me so I decided to give this heart dropping adventure a miss.

Further up was Cromwell and whoever comes by this road must stop by Jones Fruit Orchard. They have a huge range of fresh fruits for sale, tourist edible souvenirs like honey, chocolate & jams at good prices and best of all they have FRESH ice-cream, blended with fruits of your choice right in front of your eyes. I had the cookies & cream with raspberries, strawberries & blueberries.

1 word - HEAVENLY!

New Zealand - Te Anau & Milford Sound

2010-05-04T17:12:00.005+08:00

The drive from Wanaka to Te Anau via Crown Range road was pretty quick. Some tricky sharp turns to maneuver but otherwise it was a journey filled with magnificent views. This route goes past a ski resort, and I can just imagine driving past the snow-capped mountains and being constantly distracted by the beauty of this place.

We had been warned at the i-site at Wanaka that the drive to Te Anau would take longer than expected due to detours from the flooding. So yes, instead of highway 94 all the way, we had to split to highway 95, go through the town of XXX to reach Te Anau. And it didn't help that highway 94 & 95 were pretty boring as we had to go though acres and acres of farmland.

Te Anau is a very small town. Turn right, turn left and you're back to where you started. From here, we booked our Milford Sound Cruise for the next day.

We started out really early to head to Milford Sound. From our web research, it was informed that it would take at least 2.5 hours to get to Milford, our host told us 2. We were kiasu and as we have heard how dangerous the road to Milford is, (despite Ken-li assuring us that's totally untrue!) we decided to play safe and start out at 7.30am to be in time for the check in 20 mins before our 11am cruise.

It was raining heavily, vision was not very good and we drove safe, well within the speed limits. And it was to our shock that we reached Milford at 9am, only 1.5 hours. We could attribute it to light traffic because firstly, we set off early and secondly, it was raining. Perhaps, summer would be a totally different story.

The scenery to Milford was stunning with gushing waterfalls fueled with more angst due to the pouring rain. The cruise itself was good, though I would think it's comparable to the River Li in Guilin. It was pity that because of the incoming storm we had to turn back before reaching the narrow gateway that connects Milford Sound to the open sea.

Photos are here for you to enjoy!

New Zealand - Wanaka

2010-05-04T17:00:00.004+08:00

From Fox Glacier, we took about a 3.5 hour drive via Haast Pass to Wanaka. Scenery was the usual mountains & lakes.

Our first stop at Wanaka was Stuart Landsborough Puzzling World. This was the 1st highlight of our trip, and with the slanted room and all, it was really quite fun.

And the next best part was the lovely hotel that we were going to put up for the night. The view from our room overlooking Lake Wanaka was amazing and JD had a great time running around in the garden, picking up the golden maple leaves that were falling this autumn.

And to think that I had almost wanted to give this place a miss to head straight to Queenstown! It was definitely the right decision to rest here for the night :)

New Zealand - Glacier county via Arthur's Pass

2010-05-03T18:50:00.008+08:00

Our journey to the west began on the 3rd day. We started off at 8am in the morning, stopping by Hokitika via Arthur's Pass for white bait sandwich at Millie's Cafe.

Arthur's Pass was, in my opinion, the most beautiful one amongst all the rest. The scenery was amazing and even the rain couldn't dampen its beauty.

It was a great pity that the little drizzle soon turned into a downpour. When we finally reached Fox Glacier after 5 hours, we were told that the helicopters have not been operating for 2 days due to bad weather. Even the road to the glacier was closed. Disappointed I was but there was nothing much I could do except to hope for good weather at Mount Cook for the next opportunity. We tried trekking to Lake Matheson, but a quarter through, JD insisted on walking on her own on the gravel path and we knew that if we continued at her pace, we would never make it back before dark, and so we turned back. Pretty much an uneventful day in a pretty dead town, not to mention, really expensive food too!

New Zealand - Christchurch

2010-04-30T16:56:00.007+08:00

We took a night flight out of Singapore and lucky for us, we managed to get JD a seat for free. Pity though, that because they was bulkhead seats, we couldn't lift the arm rest and she still had to alternate between sleeping in my arms and in the bassiset.

We arrived in Christchurch about 9am, NZ time. It was really a pleasant surprise for us to see a special queue for families with children below 5. I had always thought airports should have this as young kids do get really cranky if the wait's too long. Needless to say, immigration was smooth sailing, baggage collection was quick and customs declaration was effortless too. The long checks for food declaration that I had to face at Australia were absent here and this made our start alot easier. We picked up our rented car from the Hertz counter and off we went to our first stop, Sign of the Takahe, which allowed us to have an overview of Christchurch.

This 1st day was basically an R&R day for us, before we begin our long drive down south. We put up at Ashleigh Court Motel for the night, a small but quaint apartment. Our host Steve was really friendly and helpful in kickstarting our trip.

New Zealand - Intro

2010-04-30T16:40:00.005+08:00

I'm now blogging from Marina Mantra, a lovely 2 bedroom apartment in Queenstown, facing Lake Wakatipu, which I do not regret paying a premium for. When I'm on vacation, I want to really relax & enjoy, otherwise I might as well backpack. I sort of back packed once in my whole life, in Europe, mainly France. Being caught in a downpour, having little cash, living on bread & shaved ham almost everyday are things I probably not do ever again.

This road trip took me quite abit of guts to proceed. I hemmed & hawed for the longest time. I worried about JD's meals, JD's diapers, JD's behaviour during the long long car rides. Finally I told myself that if I wanna do it, just do it. So I did it and with help from Google, Trip Advisor, David & Janelle, I finally worked out a 2 week road trip in New Zealand.

It's half way through my trip and I'm enjoying myself lots. Of course, this wouldn't have been possible without my wonderful driver, DW, whom my admiration of has gone up many notches and my awesome parents who entertained JD during the long car rides. I also thank God for the wonderful weather and for blessing me with good navigational & map reading skills.

When I was doing my research, there were lots of questions in my mind. How difficult will the drive be, where's good to eat etc.. I'll be blogging in parts, of my entire trip, with the hope that this will encourage more parents to travel to NZ with their children. JD had a wonderful time feeding sheeps, watching the gushing waterfalls and playing with the ducks outside our apartment.

I end this post with a lovely photo of Lake Wanaka, an awesome view from our apartment at the Edgewater Resort.

One of those days...

2010-04-22T14:22:00.004+08:00

It's a melancholic day. It's one of those days when I wish I can grab a pint of Hagen Daz cookies & cream & Sara Lee pound cake & wrap myself up in a bubble.

When I was single & a day like this came by, I would switch off my handphone & lock myself at home, not facing anyone. Now I don't have this luxury. I'll just sob & indulge in self pity.

An hour of total blindness

2010-04-19T01:40:00.001+08:00

When I first learnt that I had to attend Dialogue in the Dark, I freaked out. Not because I'm scared of the dark, but because I'm scared of not beng able to see. I cannot envisage if something happened and I lose my sense of sight, permanently. I don't know what I will become and I dread to think about it. Last Friday evening, I was sort of thrown into a similar scenario, though only temporarily.

I was the last group to enter. It didn't help that each time the door opened for the earlier groups to enter, the room inside was pitch black and a gust of cold wind could be felt. Finally my turn came and I was adamant that I must be able to hold on to the person in front of me. This didn't work out well as we all had our own pace of walking and none of us could see where we were heading. I walked in. I couldn't see a thing. I couldn't breathe and I was nauseous. I wanted to give up and I wanted out. But I couldn't. I knew that I had to finish this.

My fear started to dissipate as I walked from one room to another but it never totally went away. I depended on the walls & my cane to navigate in the dark. The guide who was with us was very re-assuring. Later we found out that he was actually a healthy 31 year old guy who had gradually lost his sight because of glaucoma. It was amazing how he led us throughout the 1 hour journey. He couldn't see, but yet he could operate the metal bridge, work the "boat" and introduce us to the power of our 4 other senses. We used our sense of touch to feel what objects were before us, we used our sense of hearing to decipher the sounds of birds chirping, we used out sense of smell to realise our environment, we used our sense of taste to figure out what our drinks were. It took some of us about 5 mins just to find the hole to poke our straw through the tetra pak.

It was an experience I will never forget. And of course, I couldn't take any photos to post here.

An excerpt from their website:

Journey into the Dark

You begin your journey into the dark in a group of around eight people. Everyone in the tour is given a white cane. Anything that emits light or sound is covered or silenced. A blind guide will accompany you every step of the way to make sure you feel safe and secure.

Then the journey begins…

As you inch slowly in darkness, you come to an open park with plants, benches, and a fountain. The sound of birds and water completes this invisible landscape.

Boarding a boat, you sail down the Singapore River until you reach the city. Moving into town, you will have to navigate a typical Singaporean housing estate and face challenges like crossing the street through the noise of traffic.

The tour comes to a close as visitors are led to a coffeeshop, still within the darkness. Here you may have a drink and chat with your guide before ending your journey.

Prelude to my long break

2010-04-15T07:49:00.000+08:00

My long break officially starts from 5.45pm, 23 April 2010.

And I think I really need it.

This week has been hectic and the following week will be no different, having work duties such that I probably reach home only about 10pm.

Adding fuel to fire, I really dread having to face a certain characteristic of people each day. People who do not put much thoughts to their actions, people who are so oblivious of their surroundings, people who do not realise the detrimental consequences as a result of their passiveness. I can't face people that I don't respect.

Maybe the problem lies with me. I've been told many a time that I'm just too impatient and too demanding. I expect things to be done at the snap of my fingers and I show no leeway when things do not turn out the way I want them to. Even the palm reader spared no qualms in telling this to my face a month back. This is bad for work relationships, worse for friendships and worst for family relationships. I had better buck up and work towards a change in my personal self.

It's time for me to calm down & slow my pace. I can't think of anywhere better to do this than in a country where the number of sheep exceed the no. of human beings, in a country where almost every nook you turn is either a lake or mountain.

I hope I don't rot there. I can't wait for this!

The S90

2010-04-07T21:07:00.004+08:00

I've finally gotten my hands on this last week. Thanks to Adrian, I think that I've gotten one of the best deals! $650 nett, at least it seems the lowest priced S90 that I've sourced for, and it was even delivered right to my doorstep! I'm taking huge pride in this purchase as this is the 1st camera that I followed through from beginning to end, from the legwork, to the purchase, to the experimentation. The free training though, I've given the honours to Dw to attend. I figured he probably needs it more than me .. *sniggles*..

Admittedly, this idea of getting a new camera stemmed from Dw. The last camera we had was way back in 2005 and the images are no longer as sharp as they used to be. Dw has been toying with the idea of getting a DSLR but I've always put a firm 'no' to it as I felt the money could be better spent elsewhere, given that neither of us were avid photographers.

But I guess the man has overruled the woman on this occasion and after incessant nagging from the man, I finally caved in and so off I went calling each & every of my friend who owns a DSLR for their comments. All of them owned either the Nikon xxx model or the Canon EOS 500. The price of the latter was steep and it was kinda scary to put away so much money on something which I was still skeptical of. Fortunately, Kerk Sheen knew exactly what I was thinking about and introduced me to the S90 - a point & shoot camera with almost the functionality of a DSLR but at half the price. Wow, I liked the sound of "pocket-sized". I just couldn't imagine myself lugging around a huge camera and a 11 kg baby at the same time!

After lots of research, this was it. Called Adrian and the rest is history. I'm blown away by the effects & how the photos turn out, given that I'm a total novice at this. If this works out well, or rather if I still love playing with this after a good amount of time, we may very well move on to a DSLR.

JD at 19 months

2010-04-06T02:54:00.001+08:00

Oh my, another month has passed in the blick of an eye. Though it's only a difference of 30 / 31 days, the milestones grow exponentially. Mainly the area which I noticed a great improvement is her vocabulary. With the inclusion of "no no" in her vocabulary now, it's pretty much a pain to get her to co-operate.

Our conversations now circle around these:

Me: Jilliane, quiet time now
JD: No no

Me: Jilliane, time to sleep
JD: No no (followed by fake cries)

Me: Jilliane, you have had enough cookies. Please give the tupperware back to mommy
JD: No no (any attempt to take the box away from her will have her bouncing up & down with legs shaking vigourously which makes me suspect she's hit the terrible 2s stage of tantrum throwing)

Think you would have kinda gotten the picture huh... Otherwise I think this is a lovely age where she's old enough to understand and interact but yet not that old to rebel and turn the house upside down.

It's April fool's today

2010-04-01T10:26:00.002+08:00

You reckon today we'll all be informed that the Ris - Ross's saga was merely an April's fool's joke? Sounds lame but if it's true, I think it's good that once in a while, we get some trivial excitement. We so need this.

The (Little) Human Spirit

2010-03-30T07:10:00.002+08:00

Every monday night at 10pm, I catch this documentary series on OKTO. Each episode depicts the strength of a handicapped child, fighting hard for life to go on.

Last night's one was Emergency in the Womb, which highlighted a rare syndrome that a few mothers pregnant with twins face , twin to twin blood transfusion syndrome. Today, I chanced upon Joan's most recent post and it's about a pair of twins who suffered the same fate. One is surviving. The other has passed on. It's sad that things like these happen and sometimes we wonder why does God make some people suffer so much. We start to question the existence of God and it shakes our faith in HIM. It is true, no parents should have to make the decision if they should let their child go, no parent should have to bury their child.

Being a mother and being able to understand the emotions of being one, makes it more difficult to accept this. When I read such unfortunate stories, I can only give thanks to God that my baby girl is healthy. When I am angry with her for throwing a tantrum or for disrupting my sleep, I think of the more painful experiences that other mothers have to go through and I am alot more appreciative of what I have and how lucky I already am.

This Lenten season, let us take a short moment to cast aside our material thoughts and to pray for the healing and redemption of these little children.

Boozing on a Friday night

2010-03-22T20:33:00.002+08:00

An old friend is back in town for a week so caught up with him last Friday for drinks at his office since alcohol's unlimited & most importantly, FREE!

I reached home slightly before midnight. Not that late compared to how I partied pre JD days but late enough since JD became family. After washing up and all, I was still felt fresh enough to sneak in a short read & some TV before knocking out. Needless to say, I was awoken at 6+am by the little one, yet I was up & about playing with her for the whole of Saturday. Now I realise how essential ME-TIME is to upkeep sanity & rejuvenate!

Confessions of a Concealaholic

2010-03-21T20:19:00.004+08:00

Thanks to June, I'm now a proud owner of this little pretty box which is supposedly not widely available, not even in the States.

I tried it out last Saturday morning when JD was sleeping.. it took me a whole damn 20 mins to finish all the steps. End result was... well, see the photo attached and you decide if it made a difference...

Verdict: I wake up at 6.45am every weekday morning just to get to work by 8.30am. If using this means I've to wake up at 6.15am, I rather not. However this product is really useful to illuminate your face for that special occasion or dinner. Otherwise, for my daily routine, I will gladly stick to good old Everyday Minerals which does an equally great job of concealing & powdering without aggravating my acne prone skin.

Ah Ma is mine!!

2010-03-19T07:45:00.001+08:00

Heard from mom recently that JD is starting to show her possessiveness. When another toddler tries to touch JD's favourite Ah Ma, she gets really angry and tries to push the toddler's hand away. And when asked if xxx (name of a toddler friend) can play with Ah Ma, she will start shaking her head furiously! Cannot!!

When I heard that, I smiled. That's so cute. At the same time, I felt a tinge of sadness, not so much that I'm not the one whom JD wants to possess (I mean, I probably would if it was a maid but since it's my own mom, it doesn't really bother me) but rather, by not being her main caregiver, I miss the chance to witness her little but meaningful stages of development.

Tired..

2010-03-17T10:15:00.002+08:00

I'm tired.. I don't wanna fight anymore. Should I take up Dw's offer? Or maybe it's more of CAN I afford to take up his offer... I pray to God for strength & protection..

MC - Unfit for fatherly duties

2010-03-10T17:56:00.004+08:00

And so, Dw finally had his operation and I really hope that this is the permanent relief of his pain. Funnily enough, I seemed more "kan-cheong" than him for this op. He has had his arm fixed before so as per what he says: aiyoh, no need so scared la, not my 1st time anyway. To me, every op still carries a percentage of risk, regardless how small.

And so, he's gonna be out for about a month, after which I would expect him to resume his fatherly duties with alot more vigor and enthusiasm!

Happy 18 Months JD!

2010-02-28T11:56:00.001+08:00

My baby girl is growing up. This is happening so fast that it seems even I'm having a tough time facing reality.

It's like all of a sudden JD is 18 months and all independent. She feeds herself, she walks off on her own without giving 2 hoots about us. She dictates what she wants to do and what she doesn't. She decides which bedtime story I should tell. She indicates when she wants a diaper change. She will happily say bye to me when she sees a play area with toys. It's hard to believe that this is the same baby who was so difficult to handle & pacify since day 1.

It's also during this past month that I slowly see her character emerging. I'm not sure if this will further change as she grows older but at this point, I see her as a potential victim of bully, unfortunately. I've let her play with other toddlers around her age, +/- 2 months. She's got the other toddlers pushing her, pinching her & stepping on her feet. The best or (worst) part is she doesn't retaliate. She just stands there & screams & does her famous "no no" gestures. To me, what's the point, the damage has already been done. In such scenarios, better to be a bully than be bullied? I've gotta teach this girl to defend herself. All along I have always been reminding her that she cannot snatch toys, cannot hit people but it seems that other parents do not share the same values or rather they don't seem to think it's anything wrong, as to them they are after all, kids. But to me, if you don't start teaching them now, then when?

In any case I will probably have to deal with this in about 9 months time, when she goes to Pre-Nursery. In 2011, she will turn 3.. THREE!! And it's time for her to enter school. Sobz. Wake me up!

Meanwhile, she has taken a strong interest in play cooking. Thanks to Aunty Gin's little cooking set, Ah Ma's pots & pans can now make their way back to the cupboard and no more loose uncooked macaroni on the floor..

Jd's CNY story

2010-02-17T13:32:00.001+08:00

This is JD's 2nd year celebrating CNY and it's really a vast difference compared to last year's celebration. Last year she was a moody, bawling baby. This year she was able to interact with her aunties & uncles. She walks around and greets them with her clenched fists of gong xi gong xi, she stretches her hand out for her ang pows and she laughs along with them, though she doesn't understand what the joke's about. She's a beautiful 17 month baby and I'm loving her more & more each day.

A tiger appeared in front of Ah Seng

The tiger wanted to pounce on Ah Seng

Ah Seng was very scared

But Ah Seng decided to be brave & tried to smack the tiger

And told the tiger "go away!!"

Did you like my story?

photos courtesy of kerk sheen :)

Money makes a difference

2010-02-12T08:19:00.002+08:00

An old friend just asked me again to join his group as an insurance agent. My answer after 8 years remains the same, NO.

Other close friends used to persuade me to be one, with my back door knowledge about insurance, they have confidence that I will really sell them products that are most suitable for them. Afterall, before they buy any insurance now they will ask me for my opinion before signing on the dotted line.

But therein lies a difference. I tell them my frank view of their impending purchases, simply because I'm not getting any commission from the sale. Good or bad I speak my mind. Once money comes into the picture, it's a totally new ball game altogether. My views will be skewed as my focus is no longer for the good of them but for the good of myself. I do not believe that you can sell something for the good of both parties. There's no way you can be 100% honest & still make tons of money. The world's just not that perfect.

I envy those with the gift of gab. Sometimes I wished I had that, that I can speak positively without batting an eyelid. I have tried but I just cannot. I'm not the kind of person who can go on & on raving about a product I'm promoting and convincing people to dump their ideas & buy mine. It's a pity sometimes as this means I lose out in many areas. To me, it's simply a case of I tell you the facts, whether you believe or not, that's your own call. Rather boring yeah.

Similarly, I love matchmaking people. Out of the 3 couples I matched made, 2 are now happily married with children, 1 should be walking down the aisle anytime soon. I love preparing for weddings. I enjoyed mine. I enjoy helping my friends with theirs, to choosing their gowns or venue research or actual day arrangements. But to start a matchmaking or wedding planning business is out of the question as when that happens, a very thin line between true happiness & the bottomline will be drawn.

For the above same reasons, I think I now understand why it's so difficult finding a good childcare centre for JD come 2011. Many of these places are now operating via a franchise. It is not a surprise that these owners put their own interests before the children's. I don't blame them, after all they need to make a living too. Just that it's quite sad to see the quality degenerating. During my visits to the school, the director / principal will try to show their passion for the children by addressing each of them by their names but ask them about curriculum, they become evasive & try to generalise & talk through their noses. They attempt to justify their high fees with specially tailored programs but what's the use of these programs if they do not know how to carry it out or if their teachers are so passive!

Back to the original intent of this post, my direction is pretty clear. Whilst this means that I probably need to contend being a salaried worker for the rest of my life, I can go to bed each night without any prick of conscience that I'm not doing enough to warrant my worth.

Medicine with Ice Cream :)

2010-02-04T08:02:00.000+08:00

JD has been coughing for about 3 weeks, started out both day and night and now she only coughs at night. After 2 visits to the GP who managed to cure her persistent day cough, I finally went back to Dr Cheng who diagnosed her as sensitive nose aka mild asthma.

Amongst the new set of medication prescribed was this called Singulair Granules. And because this powder medicine is to be taken with cold food, yoghurt or ice cream recommended, feeding JD medicine has never been this easy! Even Dw was annoyed when I wanted to take over this task from him. It is not easy feeding JD medicine, we always have to resort to trickery & distraction to force the concoction down her throat and usually only Ah Ma and myself are able to handle it. This time round, it's a breeze so Dw has volunteered to continue this job for the next 2 weeks.

Ah Ma is skeptical as we Asians believe that cold food is a no no for children. I guess we'll just have to let this medicine run its 2 weeks course then we'll know. In any case at $3.50 per dose, it had better work!

Our culture

2010-02-03T08:45:00.004+08:00

I was watching the Noose last night. Admittedly, this is really a slack, no brainer show, yet I enjoy watching it as it touches on issues that are close to my heart. It allows me the opportunity to see my actions from a 3rd party's perspective.

A topic which came up last night & really irked me was the one on using tissue paper packets to "chope" seats. Not that I think this is a really glamorous method of reserving seats, yet I see this as an innovative and witty reaction to our short lunch hours and overcrowded food centres. I won't be surprised that even Neil Humphreys agrees. How else can we ensure that we can buy our food, consume it and make it back to office within the hour? We do not have the luxury like the French to have a 2 hour lunch break nor the luxury of space / cool weather to laze on the grass by the river munching a sandwich and smooching in public.

So damn that woman whom the Noose team interviewed at Amoy Food Centre and who commented that this is really disgraceful and she was concerned about how foreigners would perceive us. Seriously, who gives a damn about the foreigners. They can leave and go back to where they came from if they do not like what they see here. Hadn't she thought about how the phase "In Rome, do as the Romans do" came about. I welcome foreigners to my country but I do not expect them to come with the notion that they can wipe out my culture and take over my land. I'm grateful for Sir Stamford Raffles's & William Farquhar's help in helping develop Singapore into a trading hub. But since then, it was through our forefathers' hard work & efforts that allowed us to come so far.

It's such an irony that these "superior white men" are now lobbying for a greener world and human rights when it was them who originally destroyed the world with their inventions and slavery. Now that they have made it big, they turn around and accuse the less developed or 3rd world countries of trying to prosper without doing enough to preserve our earth. They turn around and point fingers at us for not being democratic and not allowing freedom of speech.

Well, thank you for your efforts but I appreciate the fact that I can wake up each morning, not having to worry if the trains & buses will be in operation to fetch me to work. I can book a holiday with SIA without having to fear that my flight will be cancelled because workers decided to go on strike. I can live without the demonstrations and the violence. I pay a price by having the government dictate certain aspects of my life but it's a small price and I choose safety over full democracy.

The world is moving and we cannot let time stand still. With increasing globalisation, we cannot just live for ourselves without the interference of our "friendly", "caring" neighbours, no matter how far, how near, how small, how big they are. Yet, I seek that they will understand that each country has its culture and it's important that their people learn to assimilate into each culture when they're visiting rather than attempt to change a unique way of life.

So I say, if the tissue "choping" works for us, let's bring it on. We're 45 years old this year, it's time for us to have our own identity!

PS: You're welcomed to have your own opinion on this method of "choping" seats. I recognise that this is a controversial topic with it's fair share of fans & critics.

Our visit to RWS

2010-02-01T09:18:00.002+08:00

1. My 1st impression of RWS was, aiyoh, looks like a M'sia shopping centre.
2. As I ventured further, aiyoh, looks like Genting.
3. As I took the escalator down to the Casino, I was like, wah, like a nightclub.
4. I am looking forward to visiting Universal Studios though it's gonna be a long while before I can enjoy the rides with JD.
5. I dunno if I will pay $100 to enter the casino. I'm still hoping that some promotions will come up like those with xxx credit card gets $100 back in form of chips or sorts.
6. I'm still not impressed with Victoria Secrets. I won't pay $56 for that lousy piece of T shirt.
7. Car park rates should really be revised - lower. I scrammed before I hit the 2nd hour.
8. I'm proud that we finally have a world class resort in Singapore. Really la. As much as there are people bitching about it paling in comparison to Excalibur or Circus Circus, I'm sure there are just as many or even more people who feel good about our achievements.

Dreams about school

2010-01-26T08:53:00.003+08:00

Intermittently for the past few years and intensifying alot more recently, I've been having scary dreams. Not dreams about death nor dreams about ghosts, but dreams about school!

It's scary because my dreams are filled with issues like me not passing up my A Math homework to Mrs Yeo, or having a Math paper the next day but I've not sorted out my formulae for sine & cosine. I even have dreams about me missing the deadline to sign up for modules and tutorials in for the new Uni semester. I always jolt myself awake panicking for these reasons, only to be filled with relief that alas, all these are just dreams.

A friend whom I was sharing this with, told me that these are fears which I have encountered in my growing up years. Well, to keep the record straight, I've never missed any datelines for any module registration and I've always managed to sort out my Math queries before any major exams. At most, I just skipped a couple of tutorials & lectures here & there and sometimes forgot to hand up my homework. Other than that, I've been perfectly fine with school.

Having said that, I gotta admit that I've been a quite a stressed up student at school. My cousins did darn well and I was expected to perform up to standard too. Whether this was really other people's expectations or whether it was just my own expectations that I was trying to live up to, I've not totally figured out yet.

Perhaps it's because of these dreams that I rather spend my weekend playing with JD, bringing her to malls or to the park than toiling through classes and reciting ABCs with her. I've also made up my mind NOT to put her in Tao Nan. People whom I've shared this with have commented that I'm really silly with almost a free pass in since I'm a Hokkien and my house is within 1km of that school. But no, looking at how elitist our new breed of children are these days, I'm pretty sure I do not want JD to follow in the same footsteps.

Healthy Sunday

2010-01-25T09:30:00.003+08:00

We have been procrastinating on this for the longest time. Many Sundays have just come & gone but we have not gone to East Coast for our maiden cycling session with JD.

Lucky yesterday, thanks to Allan & Jie who jioh-ed us at 4pm, we finally made it to the beach at 5pm! This spur of the moment decision meant JD had to sacrifice her afternoon nap. We figured we'll just let her sleep earlier 9pm instead.

After the hour was up, I was so relieved that JD sat quietly behind her daddy, without any whimpers or screams. Each time I cycled past father & daughter team or they cycled past me, JD will wave to me.. she must have been taking in the beauty of nature & enjoying the cool breeze. It was a lovely Sunday evening.

Calling mommy.. Ring Ring

2010-01-22T09:06:00.006+08:00

why daddy always trying to make me wear his cap *...* bored *...*

I rather call mommy :)

Must reset phone 1st.. wait ar..

Hope I get the right telephone number..

Hello hello.. may I speak to Moninet Mommy pls..

Hello Mommy! What time are you coming home? Miss you lots!

Okie, Mommy's just 5 minutes away. Puts down phone & goes to the front door..

Jd's walking!

2010-01-18T11:11:00.002+08:00

Yay! I guess I can now say that JD officially CAN walk. Not that she's walking or running all over the place yet, crawling is still her main mode of movement. But at least she will get up on her own and walk to the opposite side of the room, but only if she wants to.

Now I've gotta pray that crawling for her will quickly be a thing of the past so that my back will be less taxing during the Langkawi trip in March!

I miss Friends..

2010-01-12T10:40:00.005+08:00

A friend recently brought up the topic of her kid lagging behind in his writing skills, compared to his peers his age. This is a concern for me too. JD has not started to really walk yet so I can foresee further lags for her in the areas of motor skills development as she grows. I am worried of course but I've gotta trust in God that He has great plans for her.

As I was speaking with my friend, I started to think back to the days when I was 4 or 5 years old. At that time, terms like gross motor skills, fine motor skills etc were not coined yet. No one knew how many milestones their kids had to achieve by certain age, no one cared. Everyone was happy and eventually we all turned out fine.

I used to have great expectations for my child. Before she was born, I envisioned her to be a genius. As time passed, I realised that my expectations were unrealistic. I'm not a genius, neither is Dw, so how I can ever expect my daughter would be one. If she does indeed become one then it's a bonus. As she grew, it became more obvious that her motor skills development was really slow and whilst I was initially all jumpy over this, I've learnt to accept that she is progressing and progressing at her own pace. A pace which makes her happy and comfortable. That's important. That's what children should be like. Happy, carefree. Their turn for worries and stress will come soon enough. Let us not accelerate it.

It's sad when I sit back & look at how fast society has developed but how pressurized and stressed we are. Gone are the days of good old sitcoms of Friends, Fresh Prince of BelAir, Ellen to name a few. Now, we're faced with TV like CSI, Fringe, Flash Forward and worse, Desperate Housewives. Nerve biting shows that keep you on the edge of your seats, sure.. but alot more morbid, alot more gruesome.

I still have a couple more years to go before JD has to "officially" attend school. Till then, I'm determined for her to have a smashing fun toddler hood filled with screams of joy & laughter.

Talking of which, I really have fond memories of our old playgrounds of sand & cement. Those old Dragon playgrounds where we can climb and walk through the skeletal dragon, Those merry go rounds that we can get on and our parents will turn us round & round, the wooden see saw that brings us Up down, Up down and the ever classic swings with the tyre type material that we always try to turn inside out.